Youtube Poop News

RabbitSnore sits at a table near the counter, with a tired look on his face. He sips some steaming drink in his hand.
The café is deserted except for Rabbit and MrDrunkenFox, who is leaning on the counter, playing a calm but dreary song on a saxophone.

Enter: Thereisnospork303 and UncleChuckTH. They appear tired as well, though they have self-satisfied grins on their faces. Rabbit nods a greeting to them.
TINS walks behind the counter and pours himself a cup of coffee. Chuck takes a seat at a table near Rabbit.

TINS: Looks like the location changes are just about finished. Finally, I’ll have time to post random images of Pedro Martinez.

Rabbit: Still a lot of work to be done… especially with this server host breathing down our collars.

TINS: Of course. At least the members are not being so dramatic about the changes now. The drama seems to have died down, thankfully, and things seem to be going well… ‘cept of course for Pimpashoy posting the occasional porn image.

TINS sits down at the table with Rabbit with his cup of coffee.

Rabbit: I’m still working to get all the archives of the Chewiki over to the new location, but it looks like I can do it.

TINS: It might do you some good to take a break for once, man. You look like one very exhausted anthromorphic rabbit.

Chuck: Yeah, relax for a while… Hey, Rabbit. What’s three times four?

Rabbit: (pauses for a moment) …Twelve.

Chuck: Hmm. Thought rabbits could multiply faster than that.

TINS and Chuck have a good chuckle.
Rabbit scowls and continues to drink. Fox’s saxophone tune becomes a bit livelier.

Enter: Dopply and Misselaineous10, both looking tired as well.
Miss10 finds an empty table, sits down, and rests her head on the surface of the table. Dopply walks to the counter and leans against it beside Fox.

Seth (Dopply): What’s goin’ on, guys?

Chuck: Nothing, Link. We were just about to have a feast.

Everyone smirks at the remark.

TINS: Now, seriously, I’m glad most of the members have taken to the changes fairly well. Even Steg decided to give the place a chance, and he was one of the most upset. I even said told him to fuck off at one point But I’m really glad most of the drama has played out. Time to let the good times roll and organize a Brawl tourney or two, as soon as we get the server issue sorted out.

Rabbit: Most of the long posts about the site now are just people getting their thoughts out of their system, I think… Some people are even grateful, which is something I didn’t expect…

Seth: These changes have been a long time coming. The drama’s been beating down the place for a long time.

Rabbit is quiet and contemplative.

TINS: Agreed.

Miss10: Yeah…

Fox’s melody becomes softer and more solemn.

Chuck walks to the far wall, to the pachinko machine. He searches his pockets for some change, but can’t find any.

Chuck: Anyone have a quarter?

Rabbit: You know, I once talked to Conrad about the site, a few weeks before we opened Planet Freedom. I said the place was a lot like a ship, with a big party on it. All the poopers got their tickets and boarded the ship, since that’s where the party was – and still is. For a while, I think it was pretty clear that the ship was headed no where in particular, and that’s when everyone was like a family and having fun. We only docked at ports to get more food and drink and people for the party. Sometime during the voyage, Conrad decided to point the ship towards ports to get more and more and more people, and it started to become as though the party wasn’t the point of the ship anymore; it was like there was somewhere definite that we were headed, instead of just port-hopping. I recall telling him that I liked it better knowing that we were simply drifting wherever we pleased.

Seth: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I really like you guys. You’re all amazing. It means a lot to me to help this place out. Some of the twists that we’ve taken have been painful and stupid.

Chuck: Anyone have a quarter?

TINS: I’m hoping that we can do a lot to reverse some of the negativity that’s been plaguing the community. There’s been a lot of hate, in places like the Showroom of Shame and all around the issue of being featured in the directory. There’s been so much talk about what’s bad that we’ve almost lost that sense of fun we used to have. I think one of the biggest issues is the franchising of Youtube Poop. There’s this idea that we’re the official authorities on the videos, even the idea that we’re the leaders of the community.

Rabbit: One of our biggest past faults has been trying to take the community in a dictated creative direction, or even just parading ourselves as the arbiters of a video genre that’s hardly intended to be serious business.

Chuck: I agree that there’s a lot of stuff that went wrong on the old site, but… does anyone have a quarter?

Miss10: The War on AIDS… I can’t believe a lot of us supported it back then.

Chuck: Seriously, does anyone have a quarter?

TINS: Some of the crap we said back in the days of the War on AIDS was crazy. I remember making some wild comparison of poop to Mozart’s symphonies.

Chuck: A quarter? Please?

Miss10 finds a quarter in her pocket and throws it to him. He catches it, puts it in the machine, gets some pachinko balls, and starts playing.

Chuck: Thanks.

Seth: I have no idea what was going through the minds of some of the members back then.

TINS: Aye. We should never make the claim that mistakes aren’t made. They are made, quite often. …Emotions often run pretty high around here.

Rabbit: A bit of emotion is a good thing, I think. It makes the place fun to have some life in it. And it makes it worth working on.

Fox’s tune becomes even, steady, and calm, with a sound of contentment.

Seth: So… If this place is a ship…where’s the ship headed?

TINS: A better place, I hope.

Rabbit: I’d say no place in particular again. We’ll roll with it as it comes, and just like before, we’ll point the ship’s bow in the direction we please and hope for the best. The crew and captain have changed; things have changed. There’s no denying that. This change, I think, is good…

Seth: Seems all we have is a lot of hope sometimes. There are plenty of times I feel completely useless.

TINS: Too true. We all care about this place. We want to see it work.

Seth: Let’s hope we don’t screw up and end up looking like the Sonic Team after the release of a new game.

Rabbit: We each have our low times, and half the time, we don’t even know what we’re doing. The important thing, I believe, is that we are close to a place where we were when this all started, when we were all having a great time. We’re once again running blindly into the night.

Fox’s song livens up suddenly, with loud notes and strong, fiery rhythm. After a moment of tumultuous sound, he holds a single note that continues for several long seconds before gently trailing off into quiet.

Chuck has run out of pachinko balls, losing his game.

Chuck: Damn it…. Anyone got another quarter…?

Written by RabbitSnore. Art by Misselaineous10 and Black_Puffin.