Youtube Poop News

Hello, my name is Christoph C. Esp, owner and founder of a couch which may or may not be infested with a sexually transmitted infection (because STD is no longer politically correct) known as the crazy. I have been chosen by the rabbit which snores to be an editor under the hare’s command. Now PeppySnore gave me some options on what to do for my first assignment, and many of those options included “reviewing” a piece of art work, a video, a video game, or anything really.

I don’t like reviews.

They are rather hard to do, really. You want me to get on a box and then yell at everyone about my personal and non-expertise feelings and interpretations about some guy’s drawing or video that he created which is known by a certain P-word that I am avoiding? I will decline. I don’t feel like I’m in any position to tell you why everything about Wikiwow or Erarg is phenomenal or abysmal. If you are expecting me to tell you which of those I think they are, then you should realize that this is not a god damn review. I am merely some guy who happens to be featured on the site, which isn’t saying much anymore, that is an editor of this silly news page. I have no authority or any support to be a dictator which tells you what is good and what is not.

With all of this said, I don’t like reviews that much either. They really don’t do much for you. You can look at any review on Toonami and expect a score of 8 out of 10, since Tom seems to find everything great. Then when you’re waiting for the commercial break to end so you can watch some more Naruto, which you do watch (don’t lie), you go over to Zero Punctuation to see what kind of review Ben “Yahtzee” Crosshaw has up about the games you love but he hates. It doesn’t matter if you’re a space robot or an angry British Australian. In the end, everyone has their own views and ideas about games or any other review worthy material. Everyone has their own interpretation on something.

The name of the review game is hype. That is all it is in the end. If a company is told to review something, that company will want a good review, but they will mostly be interested in the result of the review. A good review brings many people who are interested. A bad review will STILL bring people to the product, but not as many. A review of a video of mixed entertainment on this website isn’t to really show off how much you think you know about techniques and such. It is just another way to say “WATCH THIS,” or “WATCH THIS BUT YOU WON’T ENJOY IT.” While I appreciate your help in thinking for me, I would rather view the material and assess it myself.

Reviews are for those who want someone else to be the judge. Otherwise, a review is just for shits and giggles. I am much more interested in a preview. What’s the difference, you ask? Well for starters, a preview is simply a presentation of what something is. Instead of telling me how good or bad a book is you would be telling me what the book is about, a small look at what happens, and information about the book. It’s much better to have the information than the opinions. You think Catcher in the Rye sucks? That’s nice. Just tell me what it is about so I can have some fucking thoughts of my own.

With all this said, reviews aren’t bad. I will listen to a review just to get the information or to be humored. I simply do not like to review, and that is my review on reviews.

Wait… shit.