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When Full Metal Kiwi, our staff movie reviewer, presented the staff with his latest look at a flim - The Confederate States of America - the staff was far from silent about it. The following is the original review of the film, in addition to the ensuing debate that arose in the News Staff section of the forum, edited for clarity and brevity.

Full Metal Kiwi - The Original Review

Today, we got a controversial, humorous, and kinda scary look at alternate history. “What if the South won the Civil War?” That’s the movie we have today. C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America is a movie that is made to look like a made-for-TV documentary and is broken up with humorous commercials. So what is the country (and world) like in this “what if” reality? Let’s head in!

Plot (4.5/5)
Slavery. Yep, slavery (of course!) is not abolished and the South soon makes slavery legal again in the North. Many intellectuals and escaped slaves flee to Canada while the new C.S.A. goes down the tubes (well, to us). The plot focuses on how the country basically keeps slavery legal and we see the consequences that take place throughout history because of it. For example, when the Great Depression hits, the C.S.A. economy is stimulated again through a reinstated slave trade (selling and trading slaves to other countries). The documentary shows how horrible things would have been for blacks (or more specifically, non-whites). However, the plot also shows how bad the country’s own racism is. For example, when the C.S.A. attacks Japan on December 7, 1941 (don’t get the irony? Read a history book), Japanese-Americans are put into concentration camps “just to be safe.” Hmmm…. I think WE did the exact same thing! Also, all the commercials shown in the documentary? Without spoiling things, pay attention at the end of the movie.
The ONE thing I have problem with is that the movie is ALL SLAVERY, ALL THE TIME. While REALLY is interesting (and most likely true) that slaves would have remained, it’s just kinda… lacking. I mean, there is a lot of controversy with Canada (the Cotton Curtain, heheh) and the country’s ignorance of Hitler, but there’s nothing else we really know about the country aside from slavery… However, I think “slavery” was the real message of the film, so I guess it makes sense that it is the focus… So only half a point is lost.

Sound (5/5)
Direction(5/5)
I have to lump both Sound and Direction in the same paragraph because of the archival footage used in the documentary. You know how some documentaries use old movies to help explain some details of history? This movie does the same as well, but it CREATES new movies! The makes of this movie went out of their way to make old 1920s/30s/etc.-looking movies (of course being INCREDIBLY racist, like the slave which is just a white actor in black face). I LOVED the old-looking movies, they were just…. so retro and classic! I mean, the makers of this movie really understood what the old movies were like and what they would have looked like (my favorite clip had to be from “I Married An Abolitionist!”). So, not only the acting was good, but also the sound quality matched quite well.
The movie is VERY well-made and flows wonderfully. And when things get too real (my fiancé is black AND Native American, so this was kinda terrifying to watch), the commercials (while being racist still) are funny, in a “so scary you can only laugh” sorta way.

Overall (Admit it, this would’ve happened)
The film was very controversial, because it assumes that slavery was a driving force in the Civil War…. Guess what? If you were told that slavery was the point of the Civil War and Lincoln wanted to free the slaves… you are so horribly wrong. Lincoln wanted to cripple the South’s economy by freeing slaves, meaning the freeing of slaves was an afterthought to wanting the South beat. So then, would slaves really remained this long?
Open your minds, YES. YES YES YES. OF COURSE slaves would still be around. Look around you, look at the internet!!! Racial slurs are a normality on the WEBBERNETS, and there are still KKK and white-superiority groups still exist. “But Full Metal Kiwi!! What about other countries!? They’d make America stop slavery!” Look at history… has America EVER listened to other countries?

This movie not only shows “what if” but also “what is.” We are still racist. We are still an economy-driven country. And we still persecute gays (oh yeah, gays make their way into this movie at one point!)

I recommend this movie to everyone to rent. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll think.

RabbitSnore - Response to FMK

I for one think it could NOT have happened actually.

I think the article is fine, since it’s inherently an opinion piece, but just consider this: slavery prevents economic progress. No country can operate a complex capitalist economy with slavery, since slaves actually inhibit capitalism. They are large in number, and in fact, free people give more to the economy than enslaved people. Free labor they are, but buying consumers they are not. And it’s the consumers who can make an economy grow… Slavery also makes people complacent with a lack of complex technology. Why the hell do need complex and powerful machines when you can just get a bunch of people you own to do the same job? No paying a scientist to design some complicated shit or anything.

Just food for thought.

The article itself is fine, though.

Full Metal Kiwi - Response to RS

I, actually, agree 100% with you! Er… to sort of talk about this some more:

The C.S.A. (as portrayed in this movie) is NOT, and I mean NOT, even close to the economy situation of any country. Mentioned within the movie, most entertainers leave for Canada and people admit how the C.S.A.’s culture is stale and stagnant. Also, if you notice the quality of the film, it looks like late-80s/early-90s TV quality and the film takes place in an alternate 2000s. Meaning? While the economy may be “stable,” the technology and real growth has not.

Keep in mind, the country gets their economy back through the slave trade in the 1940s. African countries who sold slaves to the Americas made TONS of money (well, it went towards the government, but money nonetheless).

But I agree with you! Why use slaves, when paid labor can contribute more throughout the land! However, remember: The South didn’t think that way. Thus, when they take over the North, this is the mindset that is kept. The Civil War was all about economics. Freeing the slaves was supposed to cripple the South, but it just created more working bodies that contributed to the economy!

Um… so…. I don’t really know where to go from there. Just keep in mind that it is VERY possible, what happened in this movie. While it may seem unlikely that a country can continue with slaves… keep in mind that a lot of countries today use similar tactics (selling of young children, forced labor, etc etc…).

If you think it may be different, well…. ya know, hey, the point of the movie is to point out the consequences of the South winning…. Sometimes ya gotta STRETCH the truth! Er…. fake-truth. Alternate-truth?

Thereisnospoon303 - Response to FMK

Sounds like this documentary focuses more on the misconception that the Civil War was fought over slavery. Wrong. While slavery was definitely important, the central cause of the Civil War was states’ rights (or a perceived lack thereof) and the authority of the federal government versus the ability of the states to nullify federal laws. This sort of debate was going on since America’s inception with the Federalists and Anti-Federalists—long before slavery became a major moral issue.

The second flaw is the South “taking over” the North. Again, I find this as ridiculous as the saying, “If the Nazis won, we’d all be speaking German.” No, we’d all be dead. In the case of a Confederate victory, the most likely outcome would be the Union agreeing to recognize the sovereignty of the Southern states that constituted the Confederacy. Realistically speaking, the Confederacy simply did not have the resources to conquer the Union in a traditional sense; they were running on a shoestring budget from the start (which is ironic since the lack of Southern manufacturing left many Confederate troops without shoes) and to occupy Union cities would have been close to impossible. Outside of Gettysburg and the Confederacy’s attempt to threaten major cities like Philadelphia, the main goal was to capture Washington, D.C. (and hopefully the bulk of Union leadership), or win so many victories that the will of the Union population to fight the war would be broken (which, historically, almost happened until Sherman marched on Atlanta).

That being said, the whole premise is sort of ridiculous to begin with; Federalism was a growing ideology constant in America, so it makes little sense everyone would suddenly surrender or simply run away to Canada. Economically, slavery and the agricultural industry were giving way to the Industrial Revolution. I find it hard to believe they would stick to slavery for almost a century more when the rest of the world would be generations ahead economically and technologically. Lastly, how would the Confederacy restart the slave trade? Most of Africa would have been colonized by European powers who had abolished slavery or would eventually end up doing so. There would have been no outlet. In any case, one of the very things that hurt the South during the Civil War was that England began using Egypt and India as cheaper sources of cotton. No markets, no money.

Of course, I could theorize about how the very existence of the Confederacy would have given way to future civil wars or, as our ancestors learned early on in America’s existence as an independent entity, a return to a federalist government to restore unity. However, I think I’ve slapped enough history on you people to last a week.

Full Metal Kiwi - Response to TINS

Heheh, I love the debate this is starting.

Anyways, to respond to some things TINS said:

The Civil War WASN’T fought over slavery. The people of the documentary knew this, and when there is an interview with Lincoln early in the movie, he “admits” how the war wasn’t about the slaves but should of been.

After taking over Washington, the Confederates actually burn down and pillage most Northern cities, including New York. I mean, OBVIOUSLY the South was poor, but again, this is a “what if” thing. Well, I mean, hey, “what if” all of the South’s stray bullets actually hit a soldier? Again, understandable.

As for people running to Canada… it’s mostly for slaves. Escaped slaves and free blacks were all heading to Canada, and during the erection of the “Cotton Curtain” wall that spans Canada’s border, there are broadcasts on the radio for escaped slaves to return to America with no penalty.

Anyways, again, the C.S.A. isn’t very economically stable. We see through this documentary that people are poor and need the slaves to do work. I think this is kind of the point, showing how slavery doesn’t make us richer.

In fact, it probably makes the country poorer, as evidence of SSN (Slave Shopping Network) where purchasing a slave and family costs $900 (I noticed there was also a “Massacard” credit card in the corner, clever clever!). Think about it, you still need to feed and clothe the slaves, so slaves would have cost the average family a FORTUNE! I think it’s safe to assume that the movie makers knew that slavery = poor economy.

Keep in mind, since this is a documentary being broadcast IN C.S.A at the time (it’s on a San Francisco channel, I believe), I doubt there would be many negative aspects that would be allowed to be leaked through by the government censors.

Or, ya know, suspension of disbelief. I highly recommend that if you like thinking and arguing, this is a good movie to watch.

Thereisnospoon303 - Response to FMK

I feel as though I should at least address your points. It just sounds to me as though this “what if” documentary treats slavery as the central issue when, at least until the end of the war, it really wasn’t. Lincoln made it clear that preserving the Union was more important that freeing the slaves. One of the main reasons why Lincoln went through with the Emancipation Proclamation was to undermine the Confederate war effort with the idea being that a war directed at ending slavery would deter Britain from aiding the South (Britain, which had abolished slavery in the early 1830’s, was uneasy with the prospect of helping the Confederacy). From my recollection, Lincoln doesn’t really make abolishing slavery a major theme until later in the war.

As I said before, the fact that slavery survives that long is rather ludicrous to begin with along with the total destruction of the North and centralized government in general. But it’s done for effect, so I won’t go crazy over it as I did in my last mini essay.