Youtube Poop News

Avast Nerd’s Ass

Furnessly — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:33:14 +0000

Article written by Guysafari, does anyone still read the front page anymore?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LuGQZuOeKVA

This is a YTPMV made by a user named KernalPicnic. He/she used a song called Avast. I am unaware of the song’s origin unfortunately. I believe it’s from the Keygen Jukebox (Formally referenced in “The Keygen Collab” I believe). The source KernalPicnic used to make this YTPMV was AVGN. It used his “Bible Games” review and his NES accessories review. It mostly consisted of the NES accessories review footage.

It’s a decent YTPMV. The pitch-shifting was spot on (with the exception of the parts where he/she used the clip where AVGN hit a key on the Nintendo piano *used in the NES accessories review.*; that part seemed a little flat at some parts.). I also find it a tad repetitive since the YTPMV only consisted of 5 clips. The clips being:
- AVGN hitting a key on the NES piano *mentioned earlier*.
- AVGN talking about the NES Rollin’ Rocker.
- Gameplay of the “Bible Games” Review (or it could be just gameplay in general. I find it more likely to be AVGN’s review though).
- AVGN hitting the PowerPad.

It also doesn’t suffer from using overused sources. AVGN isn’t used in YTPMV’s half as much as Nostalgia Critic’s 50 impersonations in 60 second video. The song isn’t all that overused either (But people are making more Avast YTPMV’s so it’s likely to become an overused song.).

The YTPMV may be repetitive, but the visuals are great. I especially like how KernalPicnic organized the clips with the crop effect. The screen split to make the video resemble a 2-player video game, and the layout changed throughout the entire video. They could have been better though. Although there was a plentiful amount of effects in it, There seemed to be a lack of color-altering effects. It only used some Sony Vegas plug-in effects and some picture-altering effects (i.e. wave, spherize, TV Simulator, etc.) The Bible Games gameplay is shown on the bottom of the screen via the Sony Vegas cookie cutter effect. it has no individual effects. it just flips horizontally and vertically. I’d give it an A-minus when it comes to the visuals.

As I stated earlier, it’s an adequate YTPMV. The main problem it suffers from is the lack of variety; This causes it to sound like more of a Midi than a YTPMV. It also doesn’t use any more than 5 clips and it doesn’t improvise with the song. KernalPicnic could have used some of AVGN’s screaming to go in rhythm of the song at certain parts. I find it to be quite catchy nonetheless (Mainly the beginning in the middle. It starts to lose it towards the end. Avast Nerd’s Ass is 2 minutes and 13 seconds long.). I’d give it 4 stars out of five.

MegaMan 10: The Blue Plague

Furnessly — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 17:56:41 +0000

Article written by Christoph while I try to remember… things.

Capcom loves their fans and proved that fact with the release of MegaMan 9. With the classic MegaMan revival a success, they now bring us MegaMan 10, which will prove to be another success. The game follows the same usual conventions in it’s choice of eight robot-masters and then Wily Castle stages as well as the usual story of these games (either Wily is bad or something else is happening and ultimately Wily is bad). MM10 features new things like mission-like challenges, different difficulties, and the inclusion of ProtoMan right off the bat (not as DLC like in MM9), but it is also full of it’s nostalgic music, graphics, and difficulty.

In the year 20XX, everything was swell until the robot sickness, Roboenza begins its breakout. This wouldn’t be a problem unless it actually involved our beloved Rock Man, so his dear sister Roll gets down with the sickness. Eight of the infected robots around the world begin causing trouble. That’s when Dr. Wily barges in claiming he has a “medicine-making machine” and that these robots took the parts to his deus-ex machina. MegaMan then proceeds to go save the world. The story gets dumber along the way and I’ll let you find out how Dr. Wily fucks himself on this one (the old man must have Alzheimer’s disease.) Hearing that ol’ MegaMan needs help, his brother ProtoMan drops by to say that for some reason MegaMan isn’t able to do this by himself and so the brother work together. The stories for the two barely differ, but the important thing is that the story sucks and is not the story of how Zero is born, kills everyone, and sets the stage for MegaMan X. It doesn’t happen, so clearly Capcom isn’t done whoring out classic MegaMan yet (expect to see MM11 in the next 2 years).

The game is hard. Harder than MM9, at least, because of a few reasons. For one, the boss weapons need to be used in a specific manner to make them effective against the bosses (for example, the boss who is weak to the Commando Bomb will not be damaged by being hit with the bomb itself, but rather being hit by the bomb’s explosion). Another thing that adds to the difficulty is harder mini-bosses and longer Wily stages. These can get frustrating on your first play-through of the game, but in the future I’m sure they won’t be so bad. The game delivers top-of-the-line quality in it’s gameplay and that is what matters. It’s difficult for the right reasons. Not because of bad controls or cheap tactics. There is a proper solution to everything.

If you can’t handle the normal difficulty then Capcom is ready to hand you your yellow t-shirt, you coward. Easy Mode comes available from the start if you feel that you need experience before attempting the Normal Mode. It is incredibly simple, however. I may be biased because I’ve played through the game once before trying Easy, but if you have any skill in MegaMan you shouldn’t have much trouble. Pitfalls are covered up, there are less enemies, stronger enemies lose some of their attacks, and even bosses become slower, weaker, and easier to kill. I didn’t even have to use a continue (which was a nice and easy way to get the challenge achievement for beating the game without using a continue). I honestly felt insulted at times with the difficulty, as the game often threw those odd pin-wheel shaped items from MegaMan 1 at me that always gave me full health. If you would feel insulted by this too, then you’re in luck. Those who beat the Normal difficulty are rewarded with a HARD difficulty. Trust me, it’s called Hard Mode for a purpose.

The game features time-attack like before, though now you can attach a replay of your speed-runs to the leaderboard if you make it on there so that the world can see just how it’s possible for you to be so awesome. There are 3 blank spaces for the Time-Attack stages so it’s easy to assume there are going to be 3 more DLC stages. If you don’t like being rushed but still want a challenge, the Challenges mode is where you want to go. Like before in MM9 you get a list of achievements under “Challenges 2,” but a new mission mode lies under “Challenges 1″. After you beat the game you unlock these challenges that ask you to do something. You pick a challenge, which could be anything from defeating Wily’s final boss form to running from point A to point B, and then you get sent to a small stage built specifically for the challenge. Some of these are easy, and some of these will have you trying to beat it over and over again. It’s a fun addition to the game to be sure.

The game is also the first in the classic series to include three playable characters: MegaMan, ProtoMan, and Bass. While Bass is only available in the form of DLC that will become available in April, the other two are accessible from the start. MegaMan plays like he does in the original two games: just a plain buster with no fancy tricks. ProtoMan has access to said tricks, though there is a trade-off. While ProtoMan can use a charge-up buster, slide, and a shield in mid-air he does take extra damage and is knocked-back further when damaged. Bass looks to provide something unique to the 8-bit MegaMan games: 7-directional shooting. Bass’s buster cannot charge up and is supposedly weaker, but he can dash forward and combine with his robot dog, Treble, to form a stronger, flying Bass.

There isn’t much else to say about the game. I have one complaint: on the Wii version you can use the Wii Remote, but the buttons A and B cycle through the weapons you have. This sounds useful, but the B button on a Wii Remote tends to get in the way sometimes. I found myself accidentally changing weapons in the middle of a fight and losing because I shot Thunder Wool when I needed to shoot the Wheel Cutter. It’s my only complaint, though. It’s $10 for a good sized game, many extra modes and features, and contains some of the best game music, graphics, and gameplay you’ll get all year. With all the challenges, time-attack stages, extra characters, and extra difficulties, you’re really getting a lot of game for a mere $10. There is even one special part of the game where you may see a familiar boss or two if you’ve played through past MegaMan games. You must get this if you’ve ever enjoyed MegaMan. Just watch out for BladeMan. He’s a real asshole.

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have – What I learned from Sailor Moon

UncleChuckTH — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 18:40:40 +0000

Part Two of a Four-Part Series

Anime girls in short skirts go around prattling about love and justice. Lesbians are really just cousins. Winged horses are perfectly fine candidates for soul mates. This is the world of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. In America the show is known by its English dub, one that toned the show down considerably to aim it at children, or in other words completely butchered the original work and destroyed any credibility it may have had in the states. I was one of those target children, so why has it taken me this long to come to like the series? It’s been history in Japan for thirteen years, and ten or nine in America. The answer is that much like my good friend RabbitSnore, I was too ashamed to admit that I was somehow intrigued by it. However many years later when two of my favorite online associates Thereisnospoon303 and Dillrod90 made watching Sailor Moon a public event, I wanted to take part, partially because I value their opinions, but more honestly because I had definitely reached a point where I thought attractive anime girls might not be such a bad thing. I was ready for Sailor Moon. I had no idea what I was signing up for, and it ended up being a complete surprise. Now, having seen all two hundred episodes of all five seasons and two of the three movies, I can say I have gotten myself quite deep into the franchise. I know what the Japanese names of all the girls mean, I can recite the lyrics of countless opening and ending themes by heart, and can draw the characters without missing a detail. There are a lot of reasons for a person like me to like Sailor Moon, but should something like this be obvious from the offset? I am in no way the target audience, being male, American at that, and supposedly too old to fall for sappy love stories, so this shouldn’t be for me, am I right? What is it about this series that could make it so likable? What gives it this undeniable charm?

For me this series turned out to be a great find. It’s a perfect example of how anime was produced in the 1990’s – featuring beautiful backgrounds, lots of scenes involving school and ordinary everyday life and not to mention funky Jpop music mixed in with a beautiful orchestral score. It was tons of fun to see the enigmatic Tuxedo Kamen throw roses at giant tennis ball monsters and for Sailor Moon to defeat enemies with attacks such as “Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss.” This kind of silliness is not for everyone however, and there’s plenty of skepticism to be had for a series that sells its characters on the fact that they show a lot of leg, but it was not too difficult for me to look past that to get a clearer vision of what it’s really about.

My friends Thereisnospoon303, RabbitSnore and Dillrod90 probably view the series from the point of view of the reserved and mature college boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. As a high school student I didn’t quite see it from that perspective, instead I see the plot from the point of view of the five girls. I can identify with them in a certain way; if it’s goofing off one day then being serious about studies the next, believe it or not these girls cover a lot of the same ground that I do. The character I feel I connect to most is Rei, serious, jiving, and highly supportive of the naïve and childish Usagi. Underneath the Shrine Maiden that greets people at the Hikawa Shrine, there is a young woman that harbors deep feelings of determination to fulfill her aspirations, having an “international life of success.” Rei’s character is written in such a way that tells me that it’s fine to dream big, and the more open and determined one is the greater their likelihood to achieve their goals.

Points such as these are scattered all throughout the series, there to encourage young viewers as they grew up with the characters. I’m required to think about adolescent issues daily, and I deeply appreciate being able to bring my own life to the characters of this campy show. They all live in a bright world where adolescence is happy and innocent, and evil is repelled with the power of love and friendship. It isn’t accurate, but it is inspirational. I’ll take this over watching Michael Cera get wasted in SuperBad any day. It can be disappointing to see many types of questionable behavior advertised in entertainment to the teenage audience, so it is refreshing to see something so far on the other end of the spectrum for once. The world is by no means as peaceful or optimistic as Usagi-chan would make it out to be, but hell I believe in a world where one can go for their dreams, and maybe even have a miracle romance. It may be sappy; it may be unrealistic, but it’s sweet, and it’s something I can appreciate. It has proven to me that shoujo anime is not something that should simply be written off as substandard kiddy fare, and that it can in fact communicate important messages. There is much to say for how the writers decide to bring in these themes, and they rarely have anything to do with the skirts.

So what is the purpose of tackling a project as large as watching 200 episodes? It is to be entertained, to learn something new, and perhaps to achieve an unexpected result, such as learning something about yourself. If one looks hard enough they can discover a lot in this series, and whether it’s to like it for its lighthearted and silly scenes or its more reflective and dark ones is entirely the preference of the viewer. I’m sure to most the fanbase seems onerous or averting as is often the case with anime fans, but it is important to remember that different people enjoy things for different reasons. I like Sailor Moon because it showed me an optimistic and enticing fantasy world that hits close to home, and perhaps it even gave me a better idea of how my miracle romance may turn out some day, all in the format of a campy action and romance ‘90s cartoon. Others may like it for simply the skirts alone, or for the bizarre humor. Whatever reason one may have, there’s plenty to find and appreciate in this quirky yet strangely alluring tale.

That’s what Sailor Moon says.

Ohayocon 2010: RabbitSnore's Account

RabbitSnore — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 04:57:32 +0000

About a week ago, on January 29, I rushed back from class to my apartment in New York City. Wasting no time, I grabbed the bags I packed the night before and hopped on the closest bus, riding it to the house of Thereisnospoon303 (TINS), where he and my brother Black_Puffin were waiting. In a few minutes, we drove off to La Guardia Airport, and shortly thereafter, we were on a flight to Columbus, Ohio. After several months of planning, we were finally en route to Ohayocon, the first anime convention we had ever attended – but this was so ordinary anime convention: We were traveling across several states, spending hundreds of dollars, and taking the risk of being caught by security with all those drugs hidden in my rectum, for the purpose of meeting six other members of the Forum.

TINS and I have administrated YouChew for approximately two years. If you were to have told me, as we began the transfer of administrative power from Conrad Slater to us, in two years, that as a direct result of maintaining the forum, I would find myself in Columbus, Ohio to meet people I had up till then only known online, I would have looked at you incredulously and asked you if your brain was running on Lussumo Vanilla, that software that kept crashing every time I tried to install it on the new server. But it seems I am frequently surprised these days. Our finding our way to Ohayocon was an unexpected result of being the administrator of YouChew, but it was certainly a welcome surprise.

The night we arrived, the three of us took a cab to the convention center, and for the first time face-to-face, we met Dillrod90, who was primarily and most directly responsible for the planning and organization of this gathering, and RedLuigi, a user with whom I’d frankly not had much contact at all. The following day, we met with Ruthie, Deepercutt, NoTAMATZ, and TheSfarioBros. All of us hit it off with relative ease. It was, as Dillrod so aptly put it, “like meeting old friends for the first time.”

Later, I asked RedLuigi what he had thought the convention and meeting others from the forum would be like:

“I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea what any of the members would be like in real life. ‘Are they all gonna be massive douche bags? Are they gonna be huge nerds with no life? Are the more popular members going to disapprove of me, etc?’ Things like that. And I’m very glad to say that [everyone was] very nice and very…

As for the con itself, …it was pretty much what I expected. Full grown men playing dress-up and being kawaii.”

Thanks largely to the preparatory efforts of Dillrod and thanks to our mutual ability to get along, the meeting was a striking, if surprising, success. Indeed, some of us had less than optimistic expectations for the potential gathering of forum members. “I thought the meet up would be a horrible failure,” TheSfarioBros told me. “Ohayocon is held in a very large building, making it difficult to coordinate groups of people. I expected people to be lost, confused, and frustrated most of the time. I also feared that, if we even found each other in the first place, that people would divide themselves up into groups and go do their own thing without really talking to or getting to know any of the members that were present. All of these pessimistic preconceptions were dashed when everyone eventually got together and we ended up having a great time.”

NoTAMATZ echoes this incredulity as he told me, “I guess I was slightly worried that we would all be too socially awkward to carry on a good conversation but I was wrong. I admit that in the first hour or so, it was a little awkward for myself but after a while, I had no problem with being relaxed. You bros were good like that.”

It surprised me as well that we were so readily able to connect with each other and laugh at most of the same things, but I suppose it stands to reason given our shared humor on the forum. All the same, it was a pleasant discovery that it did not take long for us to relax around us, and any awkwardness dissolved quickly, allowing us to get to know each other better. “[Deepercutt] sucks at frisbee but is awesome for getting me that retro Amy plushie,” said Ruthie when I asked her what she thought of those she met at the con. “I’d also like to add that TINS is quite the handsome man.”

We all spent a good amount of time attending events around the convention, enjoying each other’s company and conversation, and engaging in general merriment. We reveled in the antics of TINS infiltrating a Sailor Moon cosplay photoshoot, dressed as TF2’s BLU Spy, disguised as Ami Mizuno. As Ruthie remarked, the episode “was just sheer brilliance.” Best of all, there is copious photographic evidence to prove it.

Just as planned, we gathered at Buca di Beppo near the convention center on Saturday night for a group dinner. The forum’s group was in full attendance there, as we ate damn good Italian food, made wisecracks about the restaurant’s décor, laughed hard, and shared some of the most memorable experiences of the trip. As per request, our waitress brought out a cake, decorated to order with the words, “NO YOU FABRIC,” written across it in what I can only describe as the most putridly radioactive green I have ever seen in my adult life.

To cap off the evening, we retreated to Dillrod’s hotel room, where we unsuccessfully attempted to hook up a DVD player to the television in the room. After some consternation over the failure to play Attack of the Clones, we decided to search through the in-room movies available for order, hoping to find a film sufficiently horrendous to watch and riff. Finally, we settled on X-Men Origins: Wolverine, through which a great deal of jokes were born regarding Hugh Jackman and his sweaty body. Taking cracks at the film was one of my fondest memories of the trip; we were all relaxed and able to enjoy ourselves as a group of friends. RedLuigi perhaps said it the most succinctly: “…[D]espite some of the differences we all may have, we can all still join together and tear the holy fuck out of a bad movie.”

By the following evening, we had all gone our separate directions, back home, bidding each other farewell and, “See you on the forum.” “Honestly the hardest part of that entire meetup was leaving,” said TheSfarioBros, “as corny as that may sound.” And I must agree with him. After spending a great weekend with great people, going back to New York was the sorriest part of the trip. As TINS, Puffin, and I took up our bags from the convention center and we began making our way to the airport, the radio came alive in the taxi, playing Cyndi Lauper’s Time After Time. “It has to be a sad song that plays as we’re leaving,” remarked TINS, “doesn’t it?” Indeed, TINS. It must be a sad song from the mid ‘80s. It must. That’s just the way these things work.

Let the success of nine people from an online forum meeting at a convention full of teenaged girls and grown men dressing in sailor fukus be an evidence that the there is no space between people that cannot be bridged with the proper application of airfare and Italian restaurant reservations. The sentimentalist in me feels that this trip was something special; something that brought the YouChew community closer together; something tangible that demonstrates that we are not dissociated, disembodied, and inscrutable creatures at a distance, but real, knowable people –- as Dillrod called us, old friends who have, most of us, never met.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f17RZut5Ga0

Article by RabbitSnore.

Silence Poopgood’s Poop Reviews: January’s Accumulation

Furnessly — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 17:57:59 +0000

Great sorrow lies in me, O Youchew, as I reflect upon my absence from you during the coldest and darkest month of December. No report came, no call to glory; nay, nothing came to soothe your sorry spirits so sore, and for this I apologize vehemently. But were the truth be told, and it will, for I have never spoken a falsehood to you, Youchew my love, it was not by malignant choice, nor by free will perverted that I dared not do my sacred duty towards this pillar of the internet most-revered. No indeed, I was beset by the greatest of maladies that left me in a daze all of December. For I had watched a plethora of Dr. Rabbit poops, and in doing so, caught a terrible case of AIDS that no amount of potato chips or Octorok cock could drive off. So I lay bedridden, listless, and useless.

However, I come to you now, a wiser, though perhaps not stronger, man, who nonetheless sees the task before him.
To compensate for my gross negligence, I will present not one, not two, but rather, three youtube poops that were worthy of mention for the new year, a glorious new year in the history of poopdom. For as the sun doth rise again after the night, fellow Patriots, so do I rise again waving the banner of freedom from oppression, perseverance in difficulty, and toast for dinner.

The Legend of UYAHH vol.3 by RetardedAnimeParody, alias YuiHirasawa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_XB9kwAR2c

The distinguished patriot RetardedAnimeParody has been known by many names in the course of Youchew’s history. I remember RAPeX earliest as ThisAccountIsClosed, through the Chewiki, and later, as RetardedAnimeParody, ReallyAwesomeParody, and myriad other names, not counting his latest. But whatever he has deigned to call himself, I know I can count on the lover of all things Japanese, perverted, and pervertedly Japanese to provide us with a level of quality and commitment that is rarely seen amongst patriots in this day and age. Young Youchewers can learn much from a man who has had his accounts suspended manifold times because of his hentai traps, only to surface anew with more and better videos (though alas, the lost work of his earlier years will always be missed). This video clearly shows the lovable spark that made RAPeX so entertaining to begin with (aside from the lack of hentai).

This poop begins, as with most of the classic Power Rangers poops with Rita Repulsa being her usual crazy self. The manipulations only continue from there, as the video gains a very meta Anti-Poop field with most of the dialogue removed from the Power Rangers, leaving them to existentially blurt out UYAHHHH constantly. One then realizes that these grunts and screams are about the majority of the dialogue of Power Rangers, and RAPeX has not really taken anything away by removing most of the dialogue. This makes the video more humorous for my tastes, on top of the already improbable fight scenes and ridiculously lack-luster monsters that the series is known for. When the ‘giant colonial rats’ appear, you’ll know that YuiHirasawa still has an eye for the ridiculous, and will be wishing, like the moronic Darth Sidious pumpkin-head demon thing, that he’ll continue on, doing ‘exactly what [we] want him to do!’

Mr. T Experiments with Magic Mushrooms by Yakkers171717

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAZk-Rdvh9A

Somewhat of a newcomer to the youtube poop community, this video shows that young master Yakkers is in possession of great promise, and hopefully due to this mentioning, some much deserved notoriety in the circles and echelons of connoisseurs of poopdom.
For a man like Mr. T., with his easily lampoonable nature and comedic pop-cultural value, I, fellow Patriots, am duly surprised that in truth I honestly don’t find many youtube poops starring the famous mohawk-machine. Perhaps it may be that I do not look hard enough, but in any event, laudable videos starring such an easy target are made even more praise-worthy because even by using recognizable sources, the youtube pooper manages to make something fresh and enjoyable. And I hardly could think of a more worthy example in January than this video Yakkers has made.

A classic youtube poop in feel, execution, and layout, the video follows the bungling Mr. T. desperately trying to hold back the lunacy of the infomercial he is trapped in, the lunacy brought about by clever sentence mixing and painstakingly funny reaction shots and pacing. When the adjectives used to describe a big, fat, juicy steak are instead used to describe an altogether different part of the Mr. T anatomy, I knew I had found something worth showing to you, Youchew. It will bring you back to a simpler time, when people strove not for forced creativity, or warred needlessly over stylistic preferences, but instead found simple pleasure in making a popular character say childish swear words.
A pleasure that is still to be relished in our time, Youchewsters.

Japanese Teachers are Easily Impressed by DaftpunkYoshi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oo-Uy86v5M

Daftpunk is known for a style that relies often on heavy editing to get the point across, leading to what some would call a self-appointing title of “Windows Movie Master”, for having his editor of choice be the long-bastion of great AIDS and great lulz, the indomitable WMM. This heavy editing is in full force here, as we watch the highly non-sequential overtures of a Japanese teacher eerily concerned with the goings-on of a young Japanese boy. With this and the video by RAPeX, I will let the reader come to his or her own conclusions about the Japanese people.

I say non-sequential because in this video, it is not like the Mr. T poop, which tells a story through the course of a heavily warped infomercial. Here, one singular commercial is taken and broken up into tiny bits, rearranged, and edited mercilessly ad infinitum. Some criticize this type of approach to making youtube poops, while others praise it above all others. However, for whatever your view on the this great glorious shit medium, one cannot help be entertained by the constant jarring juxtapositions of the no-doubt pedophiliac school teacher, the views of the game boy color game itself, and the young boy oblivious to the chaos surrounding him. This great mess is a cacophony of caca, and one I think worthy not only of the alternative crowd of Chewsters, who proclaim that only through over-editing is their true poop, and the more traditional Chewfags, who insist on clever placement and pacing. A Poop for All Seasons, Youchew.

That is all I have the strength to report to you this time, fellow patriots. But do not let my singular illness stop you from enjoying these poops and many more at your own leisure. For in the hallowed walls of the Showroom, one always finds the truest remedies to all of life’s ills, whether that remedy be Dinner, Your Face, or even Dodongo Dong (all of which I assure you are very effective).

BIG BEAT MARIO

Furnessly — Mon, 04 Jan 2010 18:34:02 +0000

Article written by Guysafari and minorly edited by RabbitSnore. No witty remark today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O36f1p8QSaw

“Big Beat Mario” is a YTPMV made by the rather well-known youtube pooper, Triple_sSs (Aka Skyguy16). It uses Hotel Mario and a little of the actual Hotel Mario Gameplay. As for audio, it uses the audio from the two said sources. It’s a YTPMV made completely of the Hotel Mario CD-i Cutscenes and gameplay. I know I complain about overused sources, songs, etc., but this is an exception. It’s actually one of the best YTPMV’s I have ever had the pleasure of both listening to and watching. The visuals were great (despite the lack of effects, the way that Triple_sSs uses the crop effect makes up for it.) There are actually parts where seven different clips are on the screen all at once *screenshot below*, the beat is extremely catchy, everything syncs up, it’s very rhythmic, and as I listen to it while I make this review, I notice that it has a very nice bass line.

This is extremely rare, but I cannot find any downsides to this YTPMV. Its just an overall wonderful experience to watch and listen to. I recommend it to, well, everybody. Its that good. I suppose if I were to try my hardest to pick a possible downside, I would have to say the length. Its over six minutes long. It also seems to fade into different melodies and beats. I think that Triple_sSs should split it up into three parts, put the three parts for download, and put the links in the video description and list it as a divided version. The length is barely even a peeve though. The divided version would merely be a bonus. As I said before, this is perfect. It’s especially shocking because, quite honestly, when I first clicked the link to the video, I said to myself “What is this? another *overused song* Hotel Mario YTPMV?” Needless to say, I was surprised. My jaw actually dropped I was so impressed with this.

I know this review seems rather short, but the YTPMV is flat-out excellent. I can’t even recommend any ways to make it better! All I have to say is, Thank you Triple_sSs for the absolutely, positively, wonderful, stupendous, excellent, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, original, remarkable, astonishing masterpiece that you refer to as “Big Beat Mario”.

What I Learned from Sailor Moon

RabbitSnore — Tue, 29 Dec 2009 19:31:36 +0000

Around the middle of September this year, I began watching the Sailor Moon anime. I began watching the show because a thread about it had grown on the Forum, and my oldest friend, Thereisnospoon303, was an active participant of the thread — much to my surprise, given that I had been utterly unaware of his propensity for the show. My first exposure to the show was as a child in elementary school, catching bits and pieces of the English dub on television before school, and at the time, I felt it was my social duty as a budding male to detest this girly drivel — so I did, with as much pretended passion as I could muster, all the while suppressing my tacit curiosity about the show: there seemed to be more to the show than for what I was giving it credit, but it would have been humiliating to express that, and I wasn’t nearly articulate enough to adequately defend myself if I came under criticism for it from family or peers. After all, this shit was made for preteen girls, right?

At the time I am writing this, I have watched 120 episodes, which amounts to 48 continuous hours of time spent watching a Japanese cartoon about magical schoolgirls in the ‘90s. If in August you were to tell me that in three months I would have spent that much time watching a cartoon which as a child engendered embarrassment for me to even stand in the same room as a television playing it, I would have said you were crazy and should have a CAT scan performed to investigate the possibility that a brain tumor was perhaps pressing on the part of your brain which keeps you from being fucking stupid. But that would have been the socially awkward child in me speaking, the child who my therapist keeps telling me is sad, alone, and afraid to form interpersonal connections.

My therapist also tells me that dream I keep having means that I want to dig my teeth into the nipples of every woman I meet because of unresolved issues with my mother.

Whatever.

Yet here I am, able to tell you that Ami Mizuno is a Virgo and that Minako Aino’s least favorite food is shitake mushrooms. Apart from attributing my unexpected appreciation of Sailor Moon to severe mental illness and repressed childhood trauma, it is difficult to account for this course of events.

But perhaps it’s not so strange that I ended up liking Sailor Moon enough to watch over 120 episodes of it, put 15 hours of soundtrack music on my computer hard drive and MP3 player, and spend enough time to learn the rudiments of a musical instrument on watching it. Perhaps the series isn’t bereft of merit. Perhaps with an open mind, it is possible to discern the value of a ‘90s anime about schoolgirls and a college boy in a top hat who throws roses at formulaic monsters. Perhaps there really is some redeeming quality to this crap. Or maybe I could benefit from a hefty dosage of Thorazine after all – but I’m going to go with the thesis that there is a point to all this stuff, that there is a reason I love it, and as long as I allow myself to love it, it’s more fun than I would have ever guessed. There’s something about this show that keeps it from being buried irredeemably under its flaws and places it in one of the few warm places in the hollow chambers of my cold heart.

There’s a charm about Sailor Moon I quietly detected as a child, even from the shitty English dub I was originally exposed to, and after watching the subtitled Japanese version, I can better understand what it is that gave it the staying power of over 200 TV episodes, several full-length movies, and several musical theatrical performances and gave it the appeal to prompt me to watch so damn much of it. The series’ charm is the charm of having enough subtlety and enough unexpected twists to stay interesting, even while sticking to a fairly predictable formula. There’s no surprise when the heroes save the day, and it’s uncommon for an episode to end unhappily. Nevertheless, I find myself watching the show to complete the formula, to see what exactly happens, even if I know how it will ultimately end. It’s like solving a mathematical equation that I know is balanced or watching a movie I’ve already seen: I feel the need to finish it even if I know, in some way, what will happen; I just need the details.

Let me be clear about this: I didn’t expect to enjoy the show. Despite my suspicion there was more to it than what I thought of it as a child, I approached the show with my usually high level of cynicism and skepticism. But I kept an open mind, and I was rewarded with an enjoyable experience. Being the brooding and introspective fellow that I am, I gave a great deal of thought to this unexpected turn of events, and I realized some key lessons that I learned about how to enjoy yourself when encountering new media, like a new show or film.

The following are what I have come to believe is the key to having a good time with new stuff. It’s how I fell in love with Sailor Moon, and maybe it can work for you!

# 1: Do not mistake your preferences for an objective measure of quality. Remember that what you like is not necessarily reflective of the media’s objective quality. In fact, I would argue that media does not have objective, quantifiable goodness or badness; there are merely opinions and responses. If some media appeals to one person or group and not to you, it can be difficult to understand what the hell they see in it…. I have this trouble with fans of the Twilight series all the time…. But if you accept the fact that people can feel differently about different things, you come to realize that nothing is good or bad in any real sense. This is not to say, however, that you should not allow yourself to get riled up about media. If you didn’t, things would get quite boring, now wouldn’t they?

# 2: Remember that nothing is perfect, even if you love it. This is closely related to #1. It is great to love your favorite shows, books, movies, and music and go on rants about how heavenly they are, but never - never - let that love blind you from the flaws of the media. By flaws, I mean elements of the media which prevent it from fulfilling its intention: animation flubs, poor sound quality, crappy editing, lousy voice acting, and dialogue that sounds like it was written by a first grader with a blood clot in the frontal lobe of his brain. But it’s okay to love something that isn’t perfect in every way. In fact, things, again, would be rather boring if what you loved were perfect… and this brings us to #3….

# 3: Love the good; laugh at the bad. While I think it’s great to be passionate about the things that work in your favorite media and also great to get riled about the flaws in media you don’t like, it’s important to be able to relax and remember that you’re probably not talking about something which will threaten the lives of millions or cause the AIDS epidemic in Africa to worsen… probably.

At the end of the day, you should be able lay in bed and to feel good about the way that Mark Hamill played The Joker in Batman: The Animated Series, and you should be able to say to yourself, “My god, I hate the voice of Artemis in the English dub, but dammit, I will be able to sleep tonight without having nightmares of a white cat saying, “Computer findings point to yes.” That is, when exposed to train wrecks such as US Catman in Lethal Track, you ought to be able to laugh at how horrendous they are – and this goes for moments of gracelessness in your favorite media as well. When characters are off-model in your favorite animation or when otherwise good actors deliver their lines as if they have suddenly lost several points of IQ, admit that it’s bad and laugh at it. Letting yourself admit that things are not perhaps the way they should be is much healthier – and much funnier – than denying it and trying to make excuses for it. And this is why you should…

# 4: Be willing to laugh at yourself. Leave behind your strict, canonical standards and live a little. Allowing yourself to like things that aren’t perfect is much more fun than being stuck up about it.

A good deal of the animation in Sailor Moon falls short of expectations, even by ‘90s standards, and it’s no secret that much of the dialogue can be stilted and formulaic. In spite of these flaws, I retain my appreciation for the show. I laugh at how many times the characters ask each other if they’re all right and how the same animation is recycled episode after episode whenever the characters transform. It has gotten to the point where I enjoy seeing the same old animation; it’s like being wrapped in a security blanket – only the security blanket is an underage schoolgirl wearing a sailor fuku.

My point is that you should strike a balance between accepting the flaws of your favorite things and loving them madly; these things are not incompatible. Don’t take things too seriously, and you will do just fine. Love what you love, and don’t get too hung up on trying to defend it from all criticism. It is my suspicion that, at worst, not practicing the suggestions I’ve outlined here can lead to elitism and xenophobia, sometimes to the extent of the old “War on AIDS” debacle. At best, however, you can have a damn good time not taking things too seriously, lying back and enjoying the way Tuxedo Kamen always shows up just in the nick of time.

Watch Sailor Moon on Youtube here.
Read a fan translation of the manga here.
Torrent the complete series here.
Discuss Sailor Moon on the forum here.

Article by RabbitSnore.

Resident Evil: Degeneration

Furnessly — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 13:15:16 +0000

Article written by Christoph who will not perform on mornings anymore.

When I was a kid I knew little of the Resident Evil games. I recall seeing my brother and his friends play a little of the second game which starred Claire Redfield, the bluey sister of RE1’s Chris Redfield, and police rookie Leon S. Kennedy. While I only remember seeing the gun & ammo store in the very beginning where you get the shotgun, I have always had a fond memory of the series. When Resident Evil 4 was released for the GameCube I was skeptical, but when I finally played it I was amazed. The game was amazing and it featured Leon S. Kennedy fresh off of his intense training that shaped him into a badass. I love RE4, and I have since played the Wii spin-off, Umbrella Chronicles, and recently played through RE2 on GameCube. Now that I had a lot more experience with Resident Evil, I felt that I try the CG movie. Forget the live-action ones, because this movie is an official part of the story. So then is this movie worth the watch or would you rather be trapped in the Raccoon City Police building?

This movie isn’t too hard to obtain. Shifty internet vikings can easily pillage this movie from a website, but it’s also less than or around $20 new and even less if you buy it used. Taking place 7 years after Raccoon City (making this 1 year after RE4 and 1 year before RE5) The movie starts off with a little history of how Raccoon City was bombed and some of the events and repercussions of this incident. In short, the government covered up the situation, some other country’s leaders want the viruses for bad purposes, some Sephiroth-looking motherfucker is being a terrorist, a new pharmaceutical company named WilPharma opened, and a fat senator who looks like Palmer from Final Fantasy 7 (the fat Shinra guy) is condoning this company’s research of the T-Virus. Then we see Claire in all her sexy glory in an airport where the Senator Palmer is going through along with plenty of protesters dressed up as zombies to be angry at him. Someone goes too far and tries to freak out the senator before Claire stops him, but then a second protester arrives to be freaky, only it’s not a protester. Discovering it’s a zombie, everyone freaks out as a security guard is chomped on, turns into a zombie, and thus begins an outbreak. Some shit happens and now Claire, a little girl, Senator Fat-man, and some others are stuck in the airport.

With a zombie crisis on hand, an annoying woman named Angela and some guy with the voice of Spike Spiegel, try to plan a rescue operation and allude to a man being sent in who is trained to deal with these problems. Cue Leon S. Kennedy, the motherfucker himself. Toting a pistol and a leather jacket, he leads himself, Angela, and Spike Spiegel into the airport to rescue these people. Leon gives them simple advice: “Shoot them in the head.” Angela and Spike do not shoot them in the head and get into trouble. Thus begins the rampage of Leon. Dead-center in the head with every god damn shot. The dude is perfect. He eventually saves the people & Claire and begins to lead them out. At this time there is a situation where Claire is trying to help the little girl and Leon is pinned down. Leon throws his gun to Claire, who kicks zombies in the face and shoots them perfectly in the head, and then Leon kicks the zombie out and pulls out another gun to shoot that zombie in the head. The motherfucker is fucking awesome. This movie is fucking AWESOME.

Then there’s a half-hour of exposition, plot twists, background, and set-up for the final half-hour. This movie is a love-letter to Resident Evil 2. It has Leon and Claire, has the G-Virus which is also used, and has awesome action. The new character Angela tries to steal the show and unfortunately you’ll see more of her than you’ll see Claire, but you’ll be seeing a lot of Leon. You get to see him be the most bad ass character ever. If you thought he kicked ass in RE4 then you ain’t seen shit. Leon isn’t as fun-loving and rarely cracks a joke, but it’s a small sacrifice for his extreme actions.

RE4 fans will be pleased to see a cameo by Hunnigan as well as the fact that Leon is still sporting his attire from RE4. The CG of the movie is pretty damn excellent. It’s all very convincing, and if needed to compare I would have to say that Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children doesn’t look quite as good, but it’s extremely close. My main issue with the CG is the expressions on the characters faces. It seems a bit odd at times and unrealistic in the way their lips and eyes move. They can seem a bit twisted up at times, but it’s barely noticeable to me except for the first 10 minutes. The special features on the DVD are alright, but nothing special. There are voice bloopers, character profiles, a little video of how it was made, a dumb “interview with Leon” (which is only an interview with some mo-cap guy), and trailers to all the crummy movies they try to push onto you when you put the DVD in.

Overall this film is enjoyable. It’s a good video game movie for fans of the video games, and that’s something important to note. It ties in very well with the series’ storyline and gives us a nice little update on what Claire Redfield and Leon are up to (human rights stuff and bad-ass government stuff, respectfully). The film is very compelling for the first half-hour, but if you can sit through the half-hour of talking and set-up for the rest of the film then you’ll enjoy it. Give it a chance even if you’re not too well informed about the series, but the movie is clearly made for the fans (there’s even a nod to RE5 that explains something you didn’t know about from the game). Watch it.

“Try not to get killed.”

Silence Poopgood's Poop Reviews: November Hotpicks

Furnessly — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 00:23:07 +0000

Silence Poopgood, Youchew’s patriotic reporter, once again rises to give Youchew the Poop it wants so bad.

November has come and went like a Thanksgiving dinner ruefully recalled as a bloated fat man muses on his terrible indigestion, Youchew. This past month has seen the reemergence of Youchew’s greatest adversary, the dread mage Pimpsahoy, who proceeded to attack and shock a surprised youchew all in the dubious pursuit of a few lulz (which pimpsahoy partakes in as much as his alleged CUM addiction). Such an action was not taken lightly by the oligarchical high council of Youchew’s moderators; Thereisnospoon, RabbitSnore, et all dealt with this surprise raid with the usual brutality. As the dust settled over the holiday meant to forge familial bonds of fastidious friendship, many patriots such as myself were downhearted and cast into despair over the reckless actions of a depraved few. In such times of confusion, I sought a safe haven amongst the hallowed Poop Showroom, bastion of decency in an indecent world. Therein I found two poops worthy of mention yet overlooked by the vulgar throngs of youchew, who were too busy no doubt with other things of lesser importance.

Youtube Poop: Demonic Kanye West Gives You Seizures by Pikawil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zx1lvk4DGd8

Pikawil is a legend in his own right amongst the community of Youchewpoop. In ages past, he was one of Youchew’s most prominent patriots, making such classic videos as Mama Luigi vs. Mephiles’ Retarded Revenge, and the popular Wizardheimer Wars. However, things lately for this towering titan of Poop has not been so well, with his original account being, at last, shot down by butthurt MUGEN fans, certifiably making them the most retarded people on the internet, rivaled only by the likes of Yahoo! Answers. His restored account shown above has his old youtube poops, but the memories of that old account are hard to disperse, fellow Chewsters, and I shed a tear for a fallen comrade. I saw this video when it was still on Pikawil’s original account, and I shall make an account of what I recounted hereon out.The video is made of a style that has long been displaced here on Youchew, a fact that saddens my breast. But nonetheless, this seven minute long youtube poop is full of ripe moments and good-natured humor that I so enjoy in a youtube poop. The classic Youtube Poop indent starts off a wild ride, and by playing around with such an established intro, Pikawil tells us off the bat that this may be in a classic style, but it is in no means old-fashioned.

The poop contains sources that are well-established in Pikawil’s oeuvre, using the same explosion and exploding head gags found in his older videos. These served not as a retreading of familiar ground, I felt, but rather were a warm and friendly reminder about the potency of these said gags, especially when used with new sources. With Taylor Swift stumbling over her award speech, to Luigi insulting Magic Johnson, to a much-welcomed introduction of the infamous Mario Brothers’ Icecapades, the video never loses its pace, which is commonly endemic amongst longer poops (and usually even so with shorter ones). The highlight of these new sources (as advertised in the description) is the use of DOMINATOR, a crudely CGI-animated cartoon with electric guitars and futile attempts at appealing to a testosterone-craving male audience (the reality is a sloppy and slipshod cartoon, but a wonderful poop source, as Pikawil shows). The video is reminiscent of Pikawil’s classic works, yet remains fresh with the new sources and bastardization of older gags.

I heartily laughed at the antics and hi-jinks shown within this poop, and I feel that you too, Youchew, will enjoy as much as I did upon watching an anime girl incessantly roll around a pink background, saying the simple exclamation of “Ui, Ui~~~” Words of a legend, youchew. And words to live by.

Hotel Shatner by AbsoluteBillion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQ7CQbvHn1w

There are few patriots like the forum-goer Billion on Youchew, dear readers. A man uncompromising in his ethics, staunch in his beliefs, and infrequent in poop. He reminds he much of the former patriot and moderator Terrorist, in some ways, before the man went crazy due to a possible diagnosis of scoliosis, turning him into a renegade member posting broken links of pornography. I do not try to insinuate that Billion will follow this same path; I highly doubt that. But nonetheless, watching their videos, one can see a somewhat kinship there. A kinship that’s welcomed, because I find the videos of both to be objects of endless delight.It is fitting I mention the attempted anarchical overthrow by Pimpsahoy in the early part of this report. Fitting indeed, for a gag in this very youtube poop is having the pudgy Shatner force a man trying to woo a lady into reciting the now-infamous dubbing of Pimpsahoy’s poop tutorial as read by Conrad Slater, Youchew’s Once and Future King. Hearing the man struggle to pronounce the domain name “Quebec Gamers” should bring a huge grin to the face of any pooper in the know, and for new fans, a quick visit to the archives will bring you up to speed.The poop excels in editing the overweight Shatner, relying on mostly reactions shots, light sentence mixing, and fast-paced stutters. This is well and good; such techniques I admire very much.

The stare-off between Shatner and a woman he has abducted into a small and cramped van is a highlight moment for me, and well indicative of the quality of the video as a whole. Here Billion does not, like any responsible patriot, sacrifice a good pace or a good source for tired jokes or an over-edited mess; he let’s Shatner’s bumbling lunacy do the talking. Add that to the oddly-placed but much-welcomed overlay of Hotel Mario audio over certain parts of the video, and what you have is a sight to behold: a video odd, subversive, yet undeniably humorous. In short, patriots, Billion made a poop to look up to and to praise. In any event, fellow Chewsters, I certainly praise it and urge you to do so.There were almost too many poops made in November (if such a thing could be possible!), Youchew. Too much to tell you about, anyways, and telling you of only two of them at the cost of overlooking all the others pains my heart. But here I stand, as a man who after finally reaching the shore after a turbulent voyage, looks back in fear and trembling at the sea he has left behind. Fear and trembling, yes, but contempt as well. For I have braved such storms, Youchew, and am back to tell you the wonders found in the outer edges of the world. Now I urge you to make the same journey, Youchew, to see such wonders as I have not.——

LunaNueva - A somewhat accurate assessment of New Moon

Furnessly — Fri, 04 Dec 2009 21:32:37 +0000

Article written by UncleChuckTH.

Love it. Hate it. When it comes to the Twilight Saga, there isn’t much middle ground. Its second installment New Moon is a dramatic example of this with its decidedly selective character development and fanservice in the form of bare-chested muscular boys with temperament issues. The plot focuses on the rivalry between moody Jacob (Taylor Lautner) and broody Edward (Robert Pattinson) over the dysfunctional Bella’s heart and also the hearts of the fans. Put simply: if you do not like Jacob, you do not like New Moon.

The beginning of the film shows a dream scene in which the favorite protagonist (played by Kristen Stewart) sees herself growing old next to her immortal lover. Bella is “happy” living with Edward, if the term can ever apply to the way she feels or acts. She expresses her displeasure at the thought of her being eighty and her Edward remaining seventeen, and he iterates several times his displeasure at the thought of “taking her soul.” This point seems to be theological but is not explored much, merely referenced. After a little incident with the family of vampires that compromises Bella’s safety, lover boy decides to skip town and tell her that their time together is up. Her response is to become a reclusive, screaming, antisocial mess who has no connections to anyone. Again. The psychology of our friend Bella is truly staggering and averting, the extent of the damage that comes from the absence of one whose presence she didn’t seem to enjoy is baffling.

This is when her canine mechanic enters the story, offering not consolation but aiding with his ability to fix motorcycles, so that Bella may just be able to see the apparition of her lost lover. Many of the scenes exploring Jacob’s unique relationship with Bella are a relief in some ways, and extremely painful in others. Under the new director we have more attempts to explore the character’s feelings towards each other through dialogue. While this is a bold and admirable step the drawback is that it is seldom executed convincingly, and it is difficult to feel connected to either of them. Just as Bella begins to feel comfortable talking to a human being again, her friend undergoes a disturbing transformation from “nice guy” to “wolfman.” His personality radically changed, he is no longer the friend that Bella needed and the dialogue becomes much more difficult to bear. It is then that another interesting bit of information is discovered – a crazed vampire is out to get her, and these ghosts from her past are calling up memories of her old light that still means the world to her.

Halfway into the movie there is less talking and more vampire-chasing action. Some of these scenes are well done, but it is a mixed bag, there is a good eye for photography, shadow, and landscape, but the CGI is laughable at best. With a decent accompanying soundtrack these parts of the movie are somewhat easier to watch and get lost in. In one of these scenes Bella jumps of a cliff “for recreation” to see her lover’s face again. When she lands in the water there is a scene of underwater Edward imagery that has a somewhat mesmerizing effect. Being pulled out of this dreamworld by the wolfboy, the audience is again drawn into a long scene about Jacob’s distrust of the vampires and his desire for Bella to choose his group over theirs. But with word that Edward is going to commit suicide over news of her alleged death, Bella reluctantly leaves Jake behind.

The rest of the movie is so ridiculously awful it is simply delightful. Taking a trip to Italy to halt Edward’s provocation of the albino elite, the Volutrri, Bella runs through crowds of monks to slam her beloved out of the sunlight after his lengthy striptease. It is then she discovered that he always wanted her and lied about his displeasure to protect her. Big surprise. Back together, Eddie and Bells are summoned to a meeting with the Volturri’s leader, Aro. This is arguably the highest point of the film, with every gesture outrageous, every line ridiculously read. Seeing Aro smile one more time while gazing into a vision of Edward and Bella gleefully skipping in the woods is enough to make anyone’s day, if it were not silly enough that the fearsome vampire that has the ability to inflict unspeakable pain with only a thought is played by Dakota Fanning. Amid more unintentional hilarity Alice and Edward express their exasperation at being there, and after agreeing to change Bella to one of them they return to their rainy Washington flat.

The climax of New Moon having come and gone, there’s only one problem left – what to do about Jake. Jacob is not pleased at having lost Bella to the “palefaces,” and says so in a series of garbled and angry lines. Bella confesses to Jacob that she has always preferred Edward and that she didn’t want to push him away. This could have been a very interesting point between the two of them if Jacob had not angrily stormed off in a flurry of fur. There is a chance they could both have gotten the friend they wanted, but there is no such resolution and the movie ends on exactly the same note as when it began. There is a true lack of conflict in the movie, and it leaves the viewer feeling as though they have wasted their time. It is “interesting,” perhaps, to see a new take on the classic story of Romeo and Juliet, but did it not leave a sounding message with its clear ending and its dramatic irony? In New Moon there is little more than sub-standard dialogue and a gratuitous shot or two of the male leads. Fans of Edward will not like the bulk of the movie. Fans of Jacob will not like the ending. New Moon is a movie that tries hard to please everyone yet pleases no one, fans and nonfans alike. At the very least it is good for a laugh, if one is willing to sit through all of the extended Jacob scenes that accomplish nothing.

Malkmusian Reviews Delos Gaylords: Speak Out Against Socialized Medicine

RabbitSnore — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 19:43:53 +0000

Sean Arey (better known as Amazingseancore), a musician/Mexican restaurant waiter from St. Louis, Missouri, is a very impressive musician when it comes to his own brand of experimental ambient comedy jazz punk rock, “suckrock”. He has claimed himself to be the “king of suckrock” in such a way that he even ran his own one-man band, the Delos Gaylords, to practice the art of demolishing rock music from 2006 up until 2008, when he attempted to quit music in order to focus on his family. Recently, due to obtaining a microphone from a friend, Sean began to record a plethora of comedy songs he wrote on his guitar and ended up with the 12-track, 24-minute The Delos Gaylords Speak Out Against Socialized Medicine. I, in my curiosity, listened to the whole album from beginning to end and realized that Sean had expanded his possibilities to even beyond the absurdity of both of his 2006-era Delos Gaylords albums, Sin un Nombre (Without a Name) and Sabado/Domingo.

This album is Sean’s most complex in a simple one-track recording. Without resorting to the mostly gimmicky overdubs and pitch changes he placed on Sin un Nombre and others before it, he kept most overdubs to two per song, save for “The Happy Song” and “Profits for Profit”. The improved quality of his microphone adds a satisfaction rarely seen in a Delos Gaylords recording, but not to the satisfaction of a George Martin or Jon Landau production. It also makes the overdubs sound a lot better and not full of EyeToy noise, making the music seem like D. C. Simpson’s Shiver album with more distortion and experimentation. It’s still lo-fi music, as some recording mistakes and the background laughter of Sean’s baby girl are prevalent in the final mix, but it’s good lo-fi music.

This album is not really Sean’s best lyrically, as that would be …and the Wonderful Machine, his first experiment under the Delos Gaylords moniker back in 2005. However, it contains an even mixture of cleverly written satire (”War is Hell”, “My Colleagues”) and humor you would expect from the latest Manwith10toes video (”King Triton”, “I Tried to Buy a Tie My Size”), along with just plain experiments (”Displeasing Others”, “Even Champions Can Get Lost”). His vocals are very good for an indie rock musician, which shows that he will have plenty of opportunity to enter the music business either as Sean Arey or the Delos Gaylords. Such complementing vocals and lyrics make Sean seem like the college-age Frank Zappa.

The only complaint about the album is that it lacks from a length of songs. As I have stated before, it is 12 tracks, but only 24 minutes, which is typical of a Delos Gaylords album. I know that was a trademark of albums back in the 1950s and 60s (Whipped Cream and Other Delights is a great example), but it’s not like Sean’s trying to make the next indie rock masterpiece. It’s a lot of his dabbling with his guitar for upwards to four minutes, leaving me with not a lot of satisfaction. Yet, despite that, the album makes up for it with catchy songs and often hilarious lyrics.

Score: 4.5/5

Download the album here.

Article by Malkmusian.

Nuthacker: A look back

Furnessly — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:18:54 +0000

Article written by Spiral as he looks into the past.

If my memory is right, Nuthacker was one of the first poopers that I have ever encountered. Following the viewing of his videos, I became much more interested with “YTPMV’s”, and YouTube Poop in general. Watching them again after almost two years, I recall why I loved them so much back then. The melodies that he composed appeal to this day. I will now look back and review some of my favorite songs that Nuthacker made.

1. Ganon’s Rap

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeCTTvzNb4E

This one is so simplistic in it’s approach, but very catchy at the same time. Most of it is comprised of Ganon repeatedly ordering Hector to “keep the runt in chains”, with Hector responding by refusing to do so, peeving off Ganon in the process. This little argument can certainly make a good song, as showcased here. One bit that I always enjoyed was when Ganon was scratching the vinyl record in front of him. Zelda keeps the beat going, with her one line in it; “You’ve GOT to be kidding”. Despite the minimal amount of editing used, this YTPMV is a very solid track. I give Ganon’s Rap an 8/10.

2. Hot Cold Sodas and Cold Hot Popcorn

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y6NU9RWqpe8

This was definitely more complicated to create, compared to the previous one. The editing involved is much more present in the video, as you could tell by the substantial addition of repetition in the lines. A variety of sources were used, such as Gremlins, DuckTales, and Hulk Hogan, who delivers the signature line in the song (which is the title of the video as well). This song is consistent throughout, and in my opinion, the best that Nuthacker has made. Everything present seems to have been executed the right way, and it felt like the video progressed naturally. Overall, I consider Hot Cold Sodas and Cold Hot Popcorn to be a classic YTPMV, and my score for it would be a 9.5/10.

3. I already am getting away with this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ouc7SlUefA

This video is the most edited, in terms of both visuals and audio. The background music this time has a strong techno feel that you would hear at a club. The SMB3 cartoon was used, along with Extreme Dinosaurs, and the infamous “Zelda Rap” commercial that Nintendo made. It seems a little slower than the other two mentioned, but that isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, I believe the slower tempo of the song made it more appealing to me. It isn’t what Nuthacker normally made, so it’s unique in that sense. To conclude, it was another well-made video that shows what a good YTPMV can be like. I give it a 9/10.

Sadly, Nuthacker deleted many of his videos months ago, for unknown reasons. However, his compositions leave a legacy in the Poop community. Nuthacker, along with Igiulamam and mrSimon, inspired many to create their own YTPMV’s; some good, and some bad. Nuthacker will be remembered as the person who made many great YTPMV’s, and for those who haven’t listened to them yet, I highly recommend them.

Dr. Joey YTPMV Review

RideTheCatfish — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:15:55 +0000

Brought to you by Guysafari. See the bottom of the article for the actual video.

”Dr.Joey”, as you can see, is a YTPMV that uses what a fan-dub of the first “Yu-Gi-Oh!” anime called, “Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged” synced with the revised Dr.Mario theme from Super Smash Brothers Melee for the Nintendo Gamecube. The YTPMV also uses gameplay from the original Dr.Mario, but the audio for it was muted, so it’s basically just the video faded over the actual YTPMV. It adds a nice visual touch, but I find it somewhat unfitting since its gameplay of the NES Dr.Mario but the song used is the SSBM revised version.

As for the actual video, The visuals were rather poor and the sounds that the creator selected were utterly terrible. This YTPMV actually hurt my ears watching and listening to it the first time and when I review YTPMV’s, I usually watch the video multiple times. The sounds that were used were all just Joey going “NYEHHH!!!!” Hearing it once would have been funny, but the creator went out of his/her way to make sure every clip was Joey making the same sound (with the exception of one clip of Triston saying “I’m Hungry” and two clips of Joey saying “RAGE!”). Granted, he/she would change the scenes to make it not suffer the curse of looking completely repetitve, but the lack of effects eventually starts to sink in and it starts to look and feel rather bland.

Pitch Shifting was not a problem surprisingly. Although it sounds bad, the creator at least got the pitches right. However, it did seem to be slightly off rhythm at parts (for instance, 0:03-0:07, the melody seemed rather delayed.)

The Creator at least had the decency to just keep this YTPMV at one verse. The video is 0:59 seconds and subtracting the introduction and some of the ending, The actual YTPMV segment is from 0:02-0:48 which totals to 46 seconds all together. There was little to no actual harmony. The creator probably just pitch shifted the song with just one level of sounds (not including the beginning portion where they used Joey’s “NYEH!” sound to also make up the drum part for the beginning.)

Overall, I must say that this was not all that amusing, enjoyable, or good. It seems that the creator just wanted to make a video that would give him/her a bunch of views and some more publicity, so he/she just generated a source and song that aren’t used all the time and then just quickly got a sound or two and synced it to the song. The creator seemed as if he/she just wanted to get it over with instead of trying to savor it and make the video the best it could have possibly been. The only thing that makes it more unappealing than the lack of good sounds, a variety of sounds, rhythm and appealing visuals, is the lack of passion

I would give this two stars out of five. Two because the creator at least had the decency to get all of the pitches correct, and the source and song were both somewhat unique, but everything else was just flat-out unappealing. My main peeves with this video would have to be:

There were little effects done to the video
besides a swirl effect, a wave effect and a TV Simulator. However, the creator did get a little creative with crop effects towards the end.

The terrible sounds
It lacked a variety of different sounds and the main sound used, as I’ve said before, was terrible. It was very annoying and it made my ears and head actually hurt at times.

The lack of effects in the video portion
I only noticed a couple of effects besides the cropping of the very brief drum part in the very beginning and the cropping of the main video used towards the end and that was a swirl and two wave effects (Which were repeated because the creator copied and pasted the verse before, which is common, but sometimes a major sign of laziness)

This YTPMV is nothing special and how it managed to get over 15,000 views is beyond me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUZ-SOg0luA

Silence Poopgood's Poop Reviews

Furnessly — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:50:58 +0000

Silence Poopgood, Youchew’s secret patriotic reporter, brings Youchew the scoop of poop news it deserves.

Well, Youchew, the sun rises on a new month, boundless in possibilities and limitless horizons open up for the proud daring inhabitants of Youchew Poop. However, before we surge ever onward to greatness destined for us, I took it upon me to make a reflection of October, in the second year of the reign of the oligarchy of Thereisnospoon and RabbitSnore. I look back on previous achievements, I sing a song of youtube poop and bravery, and above all, I wonder why my rocket is floating off into deep space. In these reflective moments, I took the time (like any proper youchew patriot) to visit the tragically oft-neglected Showroom, which holds the cradle and soul of the entire community in its haggard dry bosom. In the hallowed walls of the Showroom, I began to search around, pacing about and admiring the glory of our ancestors, and the doubtless glory that the future will bring. In doing so, I stumbled across two youtube poops made in October, and I was so impressed by their elegance and beauty the Muses filled my heart with a Pieridean melodies of admiration. I will do my best to describe these two youtube poops to you, so that you might not only watch and be delighted, but traverse the sacred Acropolis of Poop itself and find wonders therein that even I know little of.

The most boring Youtube poop of all time by retardskull

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AovqrUaayEA

I will admit, Youchew, that the title alone caught my eye on passing glance. I have seen many an onerous youtube poop, with poor pacing, over-reliance on cheap effects jumbled unintelligibly together, or tired slapdash jokes of no mirth… but a youtube poop boldly proclaiming itself as the most boring of them all, and by the laconic Englishman retardskull no less? This warranted further investigation.

Straightaways the video starts off very promisingly. The user already has a conception of what could possibly be the most boring choice of sources, and such an anticipation is rewarded even in the first second, and as a slow unadulterated clip begins to play, a smile broadens on your face, and the obviousness and blatant nature of it all is, as Youchew Patriot Yoshkins would describe it, “good medicine.”

Next, the video cuts to even more mundane footage, that seems to be repeated ad infinitum, with little or no editing to be seen. This continues the trend greatly, however, to the youtube poop’s credit, one does begin to feel bored by the endless onslaught of pure banality. However, a few slip-ups, speed-changes, and glitches along the way entice you to travel further down this rabbit hole, and like a diamond in the rough, only after a closer patient look does this video begin to shine with a brilliance.

The one minute introduction finally over, we begin my personal favorite segment of the whole video, in which a man who has perhaps the most monotone, soft, and utterly boring voice (along with a boring comb-over and wardrobe to match) begins to tell you how he makes his ‘mystery tea’. There is a sonorous musical quality to his voice that is both at once humorous and entrancing. The poop shifts to light sentence-mixing at this point, and the results I report back to you, Youchew, are glowing indeed. This segment is humorous because the main theme of creating the mystery tea is played off so well, and the absolutely uninteresting man is made watchable because of the mish-mash nature of what retardskull has him say, along with stutters occasionally jumping in to remove a sense of familiar coherence. When the man finally told me to simply “enjoy….. teeeeeeea” I was loving every moment of this apparently boring video.

After the second quarter dealing with tea, the poop begins to grow more complex and varied, as more and more sources are added in. The Mystery Tea Man returns for a short simplistic YTPMV moment which is wonderful in its brevity, and then the video continues its now fast barrage of boring uninteresting sources, including a Congressional hearing, a cat popping balloons, and a clip from BBC. However, these and more quickly jump in to break the slow and thoughtful nature of the poop to give in a wonderful fast pace… Only to return to the Mystery Tea Man telling us other activities we can do while we wait for our tea to cook. Then, cutting away from him once more, we are treated to a section of a BBC clip in which a politician explains his distaste and legal prerogatives against chocolate, which is cleverly spliced in for a natural effect. Even then, the absurdity remains high, in such quotes as “serious issues to be discussed, and I don’t think we should Derek Louis” Moments of nonsense like that only continue and are prevalent throughout the video, and since these sources are all so boring in their own right, the way they come together here makes them break past the threshold of mediocrity into something humorous and enjoyable.

The poop then cuts to a segment with a cartoon Biblical character drops a beat-box rhyme. I will leave the description at that.

The poop finally closes off as it should, with the Tea Man extolling the virtues of -what else- tea.

CAPTAIN LOU BECOMES A NECROPHILIAC by JakeSteel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HpOLbdaCI4

This youtube poop is made in honor of one of Youchew’s greatest patriots, Lou Albano, of memory ever glorious, and this heartfelt tribute to the legend is no hackneyed attempt; I attest to that. The video begins with a scene in the ever boring Hyrule Castle, this time strangely aloft in the upper regions of youtube poop heaven. Inside, the titular Link notes how cool it is to be in heaven, with the sagacious King agreeing. Link then wonders what the fallen hero Lou Albano is up to, and the rest of the video I can only assume is the explanation of what in fact Lou is up to now that he has gone up into the great heavenly dwelling place. Quickly does this poop assert itself with a barrage to the visual and auditory senses, Youchew, forceful just as Captain Lou himself was forceful and victorious in the wrestling ring where he first earned his fame. After declaring the start of a new series, the “Super Shit Show”, the poop begins in earnest with a revised edition of the classic Super Mario Brothers Super Show opening.

Sentence mixing is the name of the game for the segments dealing primarily with Lou and Luigi trying to impersonate a dead king (obviously referring here to Lou, a King among men), and Luigi performing less than satisfactory, to which Lou calls him ‘a disgrace’. The other side of the poop coin is the use of the classic Mario Bros. episode of Rotunda Land, in which Mario and his compatriots try to outwit the forces of the tyrannical and probably butch Queen Rotunda. The editing here is superb, my fellow friends, and JakeSteel has done a good job of juxtaposing both heavily edited segments, mirroring and flipping things, stutters, along with humorous sentence-mixing as well as references to CD-i, feats that always warm my heart.

As Lou and Luigi try their best to stop their frantic antics, so too does Mario, Toad, the Princess, and Luigi essay to survive a world crafted by JakeSteel in which nothing is as it seems; reality shifts and disappears beneath their Italiano feet, and even simple sentences no carry profane sexual innuendos. In short, they are now in the world of Youtube Poop, patriots, and from that brave poo world there is no turning back. The amount of precise detail and care is evident in this video; there will be no second best (and I expect none) for the great Captain himself, who no doubt watches with smiling recognition the effort Jake has poured forth in this poop.

Amidst the cacophony of loud noises and forceful stutters, Lou and Luigi are greeted by another dead king, Elvis, trying but failing to teach them a variation of the Mario which was popularized by Lou Albano. Failing at that, he decides instead to show them scenes from a sexy version of the Legend of Zelda cartoon. Again Jake rearranges a classic world into a fearful, strange, and ultimately satisfying one. By creating what can only be called a soft-core tentacle rape scenario among many other altercations, he, like any bold Youchewster redefines what is and what is not possible with a source material. No longer should we be afraid to assume the worst with simple stock animation from the 1980’s, he says; rather, we should always assume an action has sexual or denigrating connotations to it. As a fellow youtube pooper, I would not have it any other way, Youchew.

There are many more poops I saw, and many more I admired, as well. But to tell you of all of them would to write down what no amount of books could ever contain, Youchew. However, I did not write this so that you might know everything, but that you may come to believe in the words I have written; namely, the great amount of untouched treasure in the Showroom, the Sacred Sanctum of Youchew Poop. And while I may not be able to write everything or see everything, I leave it up to you, my beloved Chewsters, to go as well into those hallowed halls and find your own gems and diamonds, to learn and love them as Lou has encouraged you to participate in his beloved dance.

Oddworld Review Part 1: Abe's Oddysee

Furnessly — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:03:03 +0000

Article written by Dillrod90. Prepare to sit tightly…

I didn’t buy my copy of Abe’s Exoddus, nor did I buy my Playstation. Both were given to me as a gift from an old friend. As his room was becoming too cluttered with old treasures and trinkets, he offered to give me both the console and the game at no charge. Happily, I accepted, although I knew nothing about the game, nor did I had any idea what Oddworld was. That was three years ago. I can’t say that I had the grasp of the inner workings or spirit of the game then, but nevertheless I played it as I would any other game. From the back of the case I knew that it was a two-dimensional platformer, and a sequel to a very well-received game. Even so, I knew that it would only be my own experience at the game that would determine my opinion.

I don’t know if it was my first or last time playing this game that was my favorite. The first was a learning experience, concentrating more on game-play mechanics and how to avoid the enemies. It was rewarding, there’s no doubt in that. But after replaying it for the fifth time, I knew why I loved it so much, and why I still do. Oddworld is a story that is worth telling, over and over. With every rendition of the heroes adventures and trials against his enemies, the player notices more, appreciates the world more, becoming intertwined in the subtle arts and magic’s of its universe. If my first play through was a dip into the kiddy pool, then by number five, I was diving head-first into the deep blue and beautiful ocean. An ocean full of wonders as well as horrors, all of which opened my eyes to what makes this game my favorite game of all time, and my favorite series of all time.

The Oddworld universe was given birth on September 19, 1997 with the release of Odd world: Abe’s Odyssey on the Playstation. It told the story of Abe, a sickly thin and greenish creature known as a Mudokon. Like himself, many Mudokons worked in a massive meat processing facility known as Rupture Farms. Day in and day out, these slaves work and maintain the leavers, gears, and all other sorts of machinery that power the factory, and keep a steady flow of meat through the facility. Much like the diabolical factory scene in Fritz Lang’s Metropolis, these slaves work until exhaustion ends their small and insignificant lives. When one dies, another simply takes it place, degrading them to nothing more than machine parts themselves, with no sense individuality or rights of their own.

Enter our protagonist, Abe. As his fellow Mudokons, he works constantly, although through his grueling efforts his taskmasters give him such titles as “Employee of the Year.” Our hero spies in on a business meeting held by the owners of the factory, the money-grubbing Glukkons, tall creatures in big suits, symbolic of the iconic and stereotypical CEO, fiddling with an oversized cigar in his mouth.

Turns out that after the overproduction of their meat, the quantity of livestock has decreased drastically, the unending conquest of life may be coming to end. As the shareholders bicker and worry about their stuffed wallets losing their girth, the owner of the factory, Molluck, laughs at them, with a smug smile and a devilish idea. “A new kind of meat,” Abe comments, as he witness the unveiling of the new product. With horror he sees just what the new livestock is, his own race. Now, in thanks for all their forced work and servitude to their masters, the Mudokons would become the same meat they helped package.

Overcome with fear, Abe abandons his post and attempts to flee the factory. Quickly the factory security learns of his escape attempt and chase after him. We are then introduced to our most common enemy in the game, the Slig. A disgusting creature, it attached itself to mechanical legs for mobility. Their squid-like faces covered in gas-masks, they spit and sputter about in a filthy and arrogant manner. They chuckle in their deep raspy voices as they beat Mudokon slaves with the butts of their rifles. The creaking sounds of the pistons in their legs send fear into both Abe and any other poor slave that gets in their way. Their guns fire out, oily symphonies in tune with the factory machinery.

Through the blood-caked catwalk and passageways, Abe finds the occasional fellow Mudokon. Beaten, shivering, huddled down on the floor, they nervously wash the floor, cleaning blood from the slave that came before him. In a desperate attempt to save others, Abe begins to chant. Deep chords, almost throat singing. Suddenly, a gateway opens. A way out. The slave stands up and, with weakened knees and body nearly failing from malnutrition, runs towards the gateway and leaps into it, sending the poor soul to a better place, a sanctuary far away from the industrial eye of Rupture Farms.

From the game-play perspective, its 2D nirvana. As the player, you feel the physical limitations of Abe in his walking, running, and jumps. Our Mudokon is by no means a superhero, and one shot from a Sligs machine gun will end him, with a death sequence so quick and pathetic its almost laughable, in a deadpan sort of way. For anyone who played the old Prince of Persia they will feel right at home, the realistic aspects finding way into Oddworld quite well. Abe will slow down from running, rather than coming to a complete stop at first. He’ll leap from with arms swinging over his head, and, if you time your jumps right, he’ll catch the ledges quite well. Abe can also crouch down if needed. He can even roll in a little ball, fitting his way into small holes in walls when running from enemies. This comes in handy later on in the game, when a combination of timed jumps and rolls are what separates you from success and failure.

Each level in Abe’s Oddysee has a distinct life and vibrancy. All are pre-rendered wonderlands, The escape from Rapture Farms is a mangled jungle of frighteningly perverse machinery, a fever dream that would even make Upton Sinclair shiver. The stockyards and the cliffs are quiet transitions from the industrial nightmare into a fleeting memory of the natural world that exists here before. From there, the Monsaic Lines are deep ancient forests, empty temples of natural stone, and architecture of a culture stripped down by the evils of industrialization. The two temples, Paramonia and Scrabania are diametrical, repelling each other in its inhabitants and natural aura. Paramonia is a deep web of gray shadows, filled with the creatures that scurry around in the blackness of the temple, the Paramites. The dusty crimson plateaus of Scrabania are brutal and unforgiving, a reflection of the predatory Scrabs that prowl its lands. Finally, the triumphant and climactic ending is a return to Rupture Farms, and a confrontation between Abe and Molluck and determines the fate of the Mudokon race.

Abe’s Oddysee is an amazing game, straight up. The difficulty offers a welcome challenge that modern games don’t seem to have, the pre-rendered graphics are awe-inspiring, the story never takes itself too seriously, while still having deep undertones about ecology, overproduction, and the spirit and power of nature. I give Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee five stars without question. I the only other game I could recommend more that this one would be it’s sequel, Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus, which I be reviewing in my second and final portion of my Oddworld review.