Great sorrow lies in me, O Youchew, as I reflect upon my absence from you during the coldest and darkest month of December. No report came, no call to glory; nay, nothing came to soothe your sorry spirits so sore, and for this I apologize vehemently. But were the truth be told, and it will, for I have never spoken a falsehood to you, Youchew my love, it was not by malignant choice, nor by free will perverted that I dared not do my sacred duty towards this pillar of the internet most-revered. No indeed, I was beset by the greatest of maladies that left me in a daze all of December. For I had watched a plethora of Dr. Rabbit poops, and in doing so, caught a terrible case of AIDS that no amount of potato chips or Octorok cock could drive off. So I lay bedridden, listless, and useless.
However, I come to you now, a wiser, though perhaps not stronger, man, who nonetheless sees the task before him.
To compensate for my gross negligence, I will present not one, not two, but rather, three youtube poops that were worthy of mention for the new year, a glorious new year in the history of poopdom. For as the sun doth rise again after the night, fellow Patriots, so do I rise again waving the banner of freedom from oppression, perseverance in difficulty, and toast for dinner.
The Legend of UYAHH vol.3 by RetardedAnimeParody, alias YuiHirasawa
The distinguished patriot RetardedAnimeParody has been known by many names in the course of Youchew’s history. I remember RAPeX earliest as ThisAccountIsClosed, through the Chewiki, and later, as RetardedAnimeParody, ReallyAwesomeParody, and myriad other names, not counting his latest. But whatever he has deigned to call himself, I know I can count on the lover of all things Japanese, perverted, and pervertedly Japanese to provide us with a level of quality and commitment that is rarely seen amongst patriots in this day and age. Young Youchewers can learn much from a man who has had his accounts suspended manifold times because of his hentai traps, only to surface anew with more and better videos (though alas, the lost work of his earlier years will always be missed). This video clearly shows the lovable spark that made RAPeX so entertaining to begin with (aside from the lack of hentai).
This poop begins, as with most of the classic Power Rangers poops with Rita Repulsa being her usual crazy self. The manipulations only continue from there, as the video gains a very meta Anti-Poop field with most of the dialogue removed from the Power Rangers, leaving them to existentially blurt out UYAHHHH constantly. One then realizes that these grunts and screams are about the majority of the dialogue of Power Rangers, and RAPeX has not really taken anything away by removing most of the dialogue. This makes the video more humorous for my tastes, on top of the already improbable fight scenes and ridiculously lack-luster monsters that the series is known for. When the ‘giant colonial rats’ appear, you’ll know that YuiHirasawa still has an eye for the ridiculous, and will be wishing, like the moronic Darth Sidious pumpkin-head demon thing, that he’ll continue on, doing ‘exactly what [we] want him to do!’
Mr. T Experiments with Magic Mushrooms by Yakkers171717
Somewhat of a newcomer to the youtube poop community, this video shows that young master Yakkers is in possession of great promise, and hopefully due to this mentioning, some much deserved notoriety in the circles and echelons of connoisseurs of poopdom.
For a man like Mr. T., with his easily lampoonable nature and comedic pop-cultural value, I, fellow Patriots, am duly surprised that in truth I honestly don’t find many youtube poops starring the famous mohawk-machine. Perhaps it may be that I do not look hard enough, but in any event, laudable videos starring such an easy target are made even more praise-worthy because even by using recognizable sources, the youtube pooper manages to make something fresh and enjoyable. And I hardly could think of a more worthy example in January than this video Yakkers has made.
A classic youtube poop in feel, execution, and layout, the video follows the bungling Mr. T. desperately trying to hold back the lunacy of the infomercial he is trapped in, the lunacy brought about by clever sentence mixing and painstakingly funny reaction shots and pacing. When the adjectives used to describe a big, fat, juicy steak are instead used to describe an altogether different part of the Mr. T anatomy, I knew I had found something worth showing to you, Youchew. It will bring you back to a simpler time, when people strove not for forced creativity, or warred needlessly over stylistic preferences, but instead found simple pleasure in making a popular character say childish swear words.
A pleasure that is still to be relished in our time, Youchewsters.
Japanese Teachers are Easily Impressed by DaftpunkYoshi
Daftpunk is known for a style that relies often on heavy editing to get the point across, leading to what some would call a self-appointing title of “Windows Movie Master”, for having his editor of choice be the long-bastion of great AIDS and great lulz, the indomitable WMM. This heavy editing is in full force here, as we watch the highly non-sequential overtures of a Japanese teacher eerily concerned with the goings-on of a young Japanese boy. With this and the video by RAPeX, I will let the reader come to his or her own conclusions about the Japanese people.
I say non-sequential because in this video, it is not like the Mr. T poop, which tells a story through the course of a heavily warped infomercial. Here, one singular commercial is taken and broken up into tiny bits, rearranged, and edited mercilessly ad infinitum. Some criticize this type of approach to making youtube poops, while others praise it above all others. However, for whatever your view on the this great glorious shit medium, one cannot help be entertained by the constant jarring juxtapositions of the no-doubt pedophiliac school teacher, the views of the game boy color game itself, and the young boy oblivious to the chaos surrounding him. This great mess is a cacophony of caca, and one I think worthy not only of the alternative crowd of Chewsters, who proclaim that only through over-editing is their true poop, and the more traditional Chewfags, who insist on clever placement and pacing. A Poop for All Seasons, Youchew.
That is all I have the strength to report to you this time, fellow patriots. But do not let my singular illness stop you from enjoying these poops and many more at your own leisure. For in the hallowed walls of the Showroom, one always finds the truest remedies to all of life’s ills, whether that remedy be Dinner, Your Face, or even Dodongo Dong (all of which I assure you are very effective).
