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Jul

18

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May

20

A view of “I STILL LOVE YOUCHEW” by RAKninja

Category: Poop News | 1 Comment

Feb

5

Ohayocon 2010: RabbitSnore's Account

Category: Editorial, Poop News, Site News | 11 Comments

Feb

3

Silence Poopgood’s Poop Reviews: January’s Accumulation

Category: Poop Reviews, Quick Reviews, Poop News | 7 Comments

Great sorrow lies in me, O Youchew, as I reflect upon my absence from you during the coldest and darkest month of December. No report came, no call to glory; nay, nothing came to soothe your sorry spirits so sore, and for this I apologize vehemently. But were the truth be told, and it will, for I have never spoken a falsehood to you, Youchew my love, it was not by malignant choice, nor by free will perverted that I dared not do my sacred duty towards this pillar of the internet most-revered. No indeed, I was beset by the greatest of maladies that left me in a daze all of December. For I had watched a plethora of Dr. Rabbit poops, and in doing so, caught a terrible case of AIDS that no amount of potato chips or Octorok cock could drive off. So I lay bedridden, listless, and useless.

However, I come to you now, a wiser, though perhaps not stronger, man, who nonetheless sees the task before him.
To compensate for my gross negligence, I will present not one, not two, but rather, three youtube poops that were worthy of mention for the new year, a glorious new year in the history of poopdom. For as the sun doth rise again after the night, fellow Patriots, so do I rise again waving the banner of freedom from oppression, perseverance in difficulty, and toast for dinner.

The Legend of UYAHH vol.3 by RetardedAnimeParody, alias YuiHirasawa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_XB9kwAR2c

The distinguished patriot RetardedAnimeParody has been known by many names in the course of Youchew’s history. I remember RAPeX earliest as ThisAccountIsClosed, through the Chewiki, and later, as RetardedAnimeParody, ReallyAwesomeParody, and myriad other names, not counting his latest. But whatever he has deigned to call himself, I know I can count on the lover of all things Japanese, perverted, and pervertedly Japanese to provide us with a level of quality and commitment that is rarely seen amongst patriots in this day and age. Young Youchewers can learn much from a man who has had his accounts suspended manifold times because of his hentai traps, only to surface anew with more and better videos (though alas, the lost work of his earlier years will always be missed). This video clearly shows the lovable spark that made RAPeX so entertaining to begin with (aside from the lack of hentai).

This poop begins, as with most of the classic Power Rangers poops with Rita Repulsa being her usual crazy self. The manipulations only continue from there, as the video gains a very meta Anti-Poop field with most of the dialogue removed from the Power Rangers, leaving them to existentially blurt out UYAHHHH constantly. One then realizes that these grunts and screams are about the majority of the dialogue of Power Rangers, and RAPeX has not really taken anything away by removing most of the dialogue. This makes the video more humorous for my tastes, on top of the already improbable fight scenes and ridiculously lack-luster monsters that the series is known for. When the ‘giant colonial rats’ appear, you’ll know that YuiHirasawa still has an eye for the ridiculous, and will be wishing, like the moronic Darth Sidious pumpkin-head demon thing, that he’ll continue on, doing ‘exactly what [we] want him to do!’

Mr. T Experiments with Magic Mushrooms by Yakkers171717

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAZk-Rdvh9A

Somewhat of a newcomer to the youtube poop community, this video shows that young master Yakkers is in possession of great promise, and hopefully due to this mentioning, some much deserved notoriety in the circles and echelons of connoisseurs of poopdom.
For a man like Mr. T., with his easily lampoonable nature and comedic pop-cultural value, I, fellow Patriots, am duly surprised that in truth I honestly don’t find many youtube poops starring the famous mohawk-machine. Perhaps it may be that I do not look hard enough, but in any event, laudable videos starring such an easy target are made even more praise-worthy because even by using recognizable sources, the youtube pooper manages to make something fresh and enjoyable. And I hardly could think of a more worthy example in January than this video Yakkers has made.

A classic youtube poop in feel, execution, and layout, the video follows the bungling Mr. T. desperately trying to hold back the lunacy of the infomercial he is trapped in, the lunacy brought about by clever sentence mixing and painstakingly funny reaction shots and pacing. When the adjectives used to describe a big, fat, juicy steak are instead used to describe an altogether different part of the Mr. T anatomy, I knew I had found something worth showing to you, Youchew. It will bring you back to a simpler time, when people strove not for forced creativity, or warred needlessly over stylistic preferences, but instead found simple pleasure in making a popular character say childish swear words.
A pleasure that is still to be relished in our time, Youchewsters.

Japanese Teachers are Easily Impressed by DaftpunkYoshi

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Oo-Uy86v5M

Daftpunk is known for a style that relies often on heavy editing to get the point across, leading to what some would call a self-appointing title of “Windows Movie Master”, for having his editor of choice be the long-bastion of great AIDS and great lulz, the indomitable WMM. This heavy editing is in full force here, as we watch the highly non-sequential overtures of a Japanese teacher eerily concerned with the goings-on of a young Japanese boy. With this and the video by RAPeX, I will let the reader come to his or her own conclusions about the Japanese people.

I say non-sequential because in this video, it is not like the Mr. T poop, which tells a story through the course of a heavily warped infomercial. Here, one singular commercial is taken and broken up into tiny bits, rearranged, and edited mercilessly ad infinitum. Some criticize this type of approach to making youtube poops, while others praise it above all others. However, for whatever your view on the this great glorious shit medium, one cannot help be entertained by the constant jarring juxtapositions of the no-doubt pedophiliac school teacher, the views of the game boy color game itself, and the young boy oblivious to the chaos surrounding him. This great mess is a cacophony of caca, and one I think worthy not only of the alternative crowd of Chewsters, who proclaim that only through over-editing is their true poop, and the more traditional Chewfags, who insist on clever placement and pacing. A Poop for All Seasons, Youchew.

That is all I have the strength to report to you this time, fellow patriots. But do not let my singular illness stop you from enjoying these poops and many more at your own leisure. For in the hallowed walls of the Showroom, one always finds the truest remedies to all of life’s ills, whether that remedy be Dinner, Your Face, or even Dodongo Dong (all of which I assure you are very effective).

Nov

18

Silence Poopgood's Poop Reviews

Category: Poop Reviews, Quick Reviews, Poop News | 4 Comments

Silence Poopgood, Youchew’s secret patriotic reporter, brings Youchew the scoop of poop news it deserves.

Well, Youchew, the sun rises on a new month, boundless in possibilities and limitless horizons open up for the proud daring inhabitants of Youchew Poop. However, before we surge ever onward to greatness destined for us, I took it upon me to make a reflection of October, in the second year of the reign of the oligarchy of Thereisnospoon and RabbitSnore. I look back on previous achievements, I sing a song of youtube poop and bravery, and above all, I wonder why my rocket is floating off into deep space. In these reflective moments, I took the time (like any proper youchew patriot) to visit the tragically oft-neglected Showroom, which holds the cradle and soul of the entire community in its haggard dry bosom. In the hallowed walls of the Showroom, I began to search around, pacing about and admiring the glory of our ancestors, and the doubtless glory that the future will bring. In doing so, I stumbled across two youtube poops made in October, and I was so impressed by their elegance and beauty the Muses filled my heart with a Pieridean melodies of admiration. I will do my best to describe these two youtube poops to you, so that you might not only watch and be delighted, but traverse the sacred Acropolis of Poop itself and find wonders therein that even I know little of.

The most boring Youtube poop of all time by retardskull

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AovqrUaayEA

I will admit, Youchew, that the title alone caught my eye on passing glance. I have seen many an onerous youtube poop, with poor pacing, over-reliance on cheap effects jumbled unintelligibly together, or tired slapdash jokes of no mirth… but a youtube poop boldly proclaiming itself as the most boring of them all, and by the laconic Englishman retardskull no less? This warranted further investigation.

Straightaways the video starts off very promisingly. The user already has a conception of what could possibly be the most boring choice of sources, and such an anticipation is rewarded even in the first second, and as a slow unadulterated clip begins to play, a smile broadens on your face, and the obviousness and blatant nature of it all is, as Youchew Patriot Yoshkins would describe it, “good medicine.”

Next, the video cuts to even more mundane footage, that seems to be repeated ad infinitum, with little or no editing to be seen. This continues the trend greatly, however, to the youtube poop’s credit, one does begin to feel bored by the endless onslaught of pure banality. However, a few slip-ups, speed-changes, and glitches along the way entice you to travel further down this rabbit hole, and like a diamond in the rough, only after a closer patient look does this video begin to shine with a brilliance.

The one minute introduction finally over, we begin my personal favorite segment of the whole video, in which a man who has perhaps the most monotone, soft, and utterly boring voice (along with a boring comb-over and wardrobe to match) begins to tell you how he makes his ‘mystery tea’. There is a sonorous musical quality to his voice that is both at once humorous and entrancing. The poop shifts to light sentence-mixing at this point, and the results I report back to you, Youchew, are glowing indeed. This segment is humorous because the main theme of creating the mystery tea is played off so well, and the absolutely uninteresting man is made watchable because of the mish-mash nature of what retardskull has him say, along with stutters occasionally jumping in to remove a sense of familiar coherence. When the man finally told me to simply “enjoy….. teeeeeeea” I was loving every moment of this apparently boring video.

After the second quarter dealing with tea, the poop begins to grow more complex and varied, as more and more sources are added in. The Mystery Tea Man returns for a short simplistic YTPMV moment which is wonderful in its brevity, and then the video continues its now fast barrage of boring uninteresting sources, including a Congressional hearing, a cat popping balloons, and a clip from BBC. However, these and more quickly jump in to break the slow and thoughtful nature of the poop to give in a wonderful fast pace… Only to return to the Mystery Tea Man telling us other activities we can do while we wait for our tea to cook. Then, cutting away from him once more, we are treated to a section of a BBC clip in which a politician explains his distaste and legal prerogatives against chocolate, which is cleverly spliced in for a natural effect. Even then, the absurdity remains high, in such quotes as “serious issues to be discussed, and I don’t think we should Derek Louis” Moments of nonsense like that only continue and are prevalent throughout the video, and since these sources are all so boring in their own right, the way they come together here makes them break past the threshold of mediocrity into something humorous and enjoyable.

The poop then cuts to a segment with a cartoon Biblical character drops a beat-box rhyme. I will leave the description at that.

The poop finally closes off as it should, with the Tea Man extolling the virtues of -what else- tea.

CAPTAIN LOU BECOMES A NECROPHILIAC by JakeSteel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HpOLbdaCI4

This youtube poop is made in honor of one of Youchew’s greatest patriots, Lou Albano, of memory ever glorious, and this heartfelt tribute to the legend is no hackneyed attempt; I attest to that. The video begins with a scene in the ever boring Hyrule Castle, this time strangely aloft in the upper regions of youtube poop heaven. Inside, the titular Link notes how cool it is to be in heaven, with the sagacious King agreeing. Link then wonders what the fallen hero Lou Albano is up to, and the rest of the video I can only assume is the explanation of what in fact Lou is up to now that he has gone up into the great heavenly dwelling place. Quickly does this poop assert itself with a barrage to the visual and auditory senses, Youchew, forceful just as Captain Lou himself was forceful and victorious in the wrestling ring where he first earned his fame. After declaring the start of a new series, the “Super Shit Show”, the poop begins in earnest with a revised edition of the classic Super Mario Brothers Super Show opening.

Sentence mixing is the name of the game for the segments dealing primarily with Lou and Luigi trying to impersonate a dead king (obviously referring here to Lou, a King among men), and Luigi performing less than satisfactory, to which Lou calls him ‘a disgrace’. The other side of the poop coin is the use of the classic Mario Bros. episode of Rotunda Land, in which Mario and his compatriots try to outwit the forces of the tyrannical and probably butch Queen Rotunda. The editing here is superb, my fellow friends, and JakeSteel has done a good job of juxtaposing both heavily edited segments, mirroring and flipping things, stutters, along with humorous sentence-mixing as well as references to CD-i, feats that always warm my heart.

As Lou and Luigi try their best to stop their frantic antics, so too does Mario, Toad, the Princess, and Luigi essay to survive a world crafted by JakeSteel in which nothing is as it seems; reality shifts and disappears beneath their Italiano feet, and even simple sentences no carry profane sexual innuendos. In short, they are now in the world of Youtube Poop, patriots, and from that brave poo world there is no turning back. The amount of precise detail and care is evident in this video; there will be no second best (and I expect none) for the great Captain himself, who no doubt watches with smiling recognition the effort Jake has poured forth in this poop.

Amidst the cacophony of loud noises and forceful stutters, Lou and Luigi are greeted by another dead king, Elvis, trying but failing to teach them a variation of the Mario which was popularized by Lou Albano. Failing at that, he decides instead to show them scenes from a sexy version of the Legend of Zelda cartoon. Again Jake rearranges a classic world into a fearful, strange, and ultimately satisfying one. By creating what can only be called a soft-core tentacle rape scenario among many other altercations, he, like any bold Youchewster redefines what is and what is not possible with a source material. No longer should we be afraid to assume the worst with simple stock animation from the 1980’s, he says; rather, we should always assume an action has sexual or denigrating connotations to it. As a fellow youtube pooper, I would not have it any other way, Youchew.

There are many more poops I saw, and many more I admired, as well. But to tell you of all of them would to write down what no amount of books could ever contain, Youchew. However, I did not write this so that you might know everything, but that you may come to believe in the words I have written; namely, the great amount of untouched treasure in the Showroom, the Sacred Sanctum of Youchew Poop. And while I may not be able to write everything or see everything, I leave it up to you, my beloved Chewsters, to go as well into those hallowed halls and find your own gems and diamonds, to learn and love them as Lou has encouraged you to participate in his beloved dance.

keep looking »

Categories

Jul

18

Source Discourse - Stu and Pudding Mix

May

20

A view of “I STILL LOVE YOUCHEW” by RAKninja

Feb

5

Ohayocon 2010: RabbitSnore's Account

Feb

3

Silence Poopgood’s Poop Reviews: January’s Accumulation

Nov

18

Silence Poopgood's Poop Reviews