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Avast Nerd’s Ass

March 10, 2010 By: Furnessly Category: Poop Reviews, Media, Quick Reviews 3 Comments →

 Article written by Guysafari, does anyone still read the front page anymore?

This is a YTPMV made by a user named KernalPicnic. He/she used a song called Avast. I am unaware of the song’s origin unfortunately. I believe it’s from the Keygen Jukebox (Formally referenced in “The Keygen Collab” I believe). The source KernalPicnic used to make this YTPMV was AVGN. It used his “Bible Games” review and his NES accessories review. It mostly consisted of the NES accessories review footage.

It’s a decent YTPMV. The pitch-shifting was spot on (with the exception of the parts where he/she used the clip where AVGN hit a key on the Nintendo piano *used in the NES accessories review.*; that part seemed a little flat at some parts.). I also find it a tad repetitive since the YTPMV only consisted of 5 clips. The clips being:
- AVGN hitting a key on the NES piano *mentioned earlier*.
- AVGN talking about the NES Rollin’ Rocker.
- Gameplay of the “Bible Games” Review (or it could be just gameplay in general. I find it more likely to be AVGN’s review though).
- AVGN hitting the PowerPad.

It also doesn’t suffer from using overused sources. AVGN isn’t used in YTPMV’s half as much as Nostalgia Critic’s 50 impersonations in 60 second video. The song isn’t all that overused either (But people are making more Avast YTPMV’s so it’s likely to become an overused song.).

The YTPMV may be repetitive, but the visuals are great. I especially like how KernalPicnic organized the clips with the crop effect. The screen split to make the video resemble a 2-player video game, and the layout changed throughout the entire video. They could have been better though. Although there was a plentiful amount of effects in it, There seemed to be a lack of color-altering effects. It only used some Sony Vegas plug-in effects and some picture-altering effects (i.e. wave, spherize, TV Simulator, etc.) The Bible Games gameplay is shown on the bottom of the screen via the Sony Vegas cookie cutter effect. it has no individual effects. it just flips horizontally and vertically. I’d give it an A-minus when it comes to the visuals.

As I stated earlier, it’s an adequate YTPMV. The main problem it suffers from is the lack of variety; This causes it to sound like more of a Midi than a YTPMV. It also doesn’t use any more than 5 clips and it doesn’t improvise with the song. KernalPicnic could have used some of AVGN’s screaming to go in rhythm of the song at certain parts. I find it to be quite catchy nonetheless (Mainly the beginning in the middle. It starts to lose it towards the end. Avast Nerd’s Ass is 2 minutes and 13 seconds long.). I’d give it 4 stars out of five.

MegaMan 10: The Blue Plague

March 07, 2010 By: Furnessly Category: Media, Quick Reviews 6 Comments →

Article written by Christoph while I try to remember… things.

Capcom loves their fans and proved that fact with the release of MegaMan 9. With the classic MegaMan revival a success, they now bring us MegaMan 10, which will prove to be another success. The game follows the same usual conventions in it’s choice of eight robot-masters and then Wily Castle stages as well as the usual story of these games (either Wily is bad or something else is happening and ultimately Wily is bad). MM10 features new things like mission-like challenges, different difficulties, and the inclusion of ProtoMan right off the bat (not as DLC like in MM9), but it is also full of it’s nostalgic music, graphics, and difficulty.

The gang are finally here

In the year 20XX, everything was swell until the robot sickness, Roboenza begins its breakout. This wouldn’t be a problem unless it actually involved our beloved Rock Man, so his dear sister Roll gets down with the sickness. Eight of the infected robots around the world begin causing trouble. That’s when Dr. Wily barges in claiming he has a “medicine-making machine” and that these robots took the parts to his deus-ex machina. MegaMan then proceeds to go save the world. The story gets dumber along the way and I’ll let you find out how Dr. Wily fucks himself on this one (the old man must have Alzheimer’s disease.) Hearing that ol’ MegaMan needs help, his brother ProtoMan drops by to say that for some reason MegaMan isn’t able to do this by himself and so the brother work together. The stories for the two barely differ, but the important thing is that the story sucks and is not the story of how Zero is born, kills everyone, and sets the stage for MegaMan X. It doesn’t happen, so clearly Capcom isn’t done whoring out classic MegaMan yet (expect to see MM11 in the next 2 years).

Please forgive me, it was an imposter that did it

The game is hard. Harder than MM9, at least, because of a few reasons. For one, the boss weapons need to be used in a specific manner to make them effective against the bosses (for example, the boss who is weak to the Commando Bomb will not be damaged by being hit with the bomb itself, but rather being hit by the bomb’s explosion). Another thing that adds to the difficulty is harder mini-bosses and longer Wily stages. These can get frustrating on your first play-through of the game, but in the future I’m sure they won’t be so bad. The game delivers top-of-the-line quality in it’s gameplay and that is what matters. It’s difficult for the right reasons. Not because of bad controls or cheap tactics. There is a proper solution to everything.

If you can’t handle the normal difficulty then Capcom is ready to hand you your yellow t-shirt, you coward. Easy Mode comes available from the start if you feel that you need experience before attempting the Normal Mode. It is incredibly simple, however. I may be biased because I’ve played through the game once before trying Easy, but if you have any skill in MegaMan you shouldn’t have much trouble. Pitfalls are covered up, there are less enemies, stronger enemies lose some of their attacks, and even bosses become slower, weaker, and easier to kill. I didn’t even have to use a continue (which was a nice and easy way to get the challenge achievement for beating the game without using a continue). I honestly felt insulted at times with the difficulty, as the game often threw those odd pin-wheel shaped items from MegaMan 1 at me that always gave me full health. If you would feel insulted by this too, then you’re in luck. Those who beat the Normal difficulty are rewarded with a HARD difficulty. Trust me, it’s called Hard Mode for a purpose.

The game features time-attack like before, though now you can attach a replay of your speed-runs to the leaderboard if you make it on there so that the world can see just how it’s possible for you to be so awesome. There are 3 blank spaces for the Time-Attack stages so it’s easy to assume there are going to be 3 more DLC stages. If you don’t like being rushed but still want a challenge, the Challenges mode is where you want to go. Like before in MM9 you get a list of achievements under “Challenges 2,” but a new mission mode lies under “Challenges 1″. After you beat the game you unlock these challenges that ask you to do something. You pick a challenge, which could be anything from defeating Wily’s final boss form to running from point A to point B, and then you get sent to a small stage built specifically for the challenge. Some of these are easy, and some of these will have you trying to beat it over and over again. It’s a fun addition to the game to be sure.

The game is also the first in the classic series to include three playable characters: MegaMan, ProtoMan, and Bass. While Bass is only available in the form of DLC that will become available in April, the other two are accessible from the start. MegaMan plays like he does in the original two games: just a plain buster with no fancy tricks. ProtoMan has access to said tricks, though there is a trade-off. While ProtoMan can use a charge-up buster, slide, and a shield in mid-air he does take extra damage and is knocked-back further when damaged. Bass looks to provide something unique to the 8-bit MegaMan games: 7-directional shooting. Bass’s buster cannot charge up and is supposedly weaker, but he can dash forward and combine with his robot dog, Treble, to form a stronger, flying Bass.

The 3rd Classic Megaman game with a character select

There isn’t much else to say about the game. I have one complaint: on the Wii version you can use the Wii Remote, but the buttons A and B cycle through the weapons you have. This sounds useful, but the B button on a Wii Remote tends to get in the way sometimes. I found myself accidentally changing weapons in the middle of a fight and losing because I shot Thunder Wool when I needed to shoot the Wheel Cutter. It’s my only complaint, though. It’s $10 for a good sized game, many extra modes and features, and contains some of the best game music, graphics, and gameplay you’ll get all year. With all the challenges, time-attack stages, extra characters, and extra difficulties, you’re really getting a lot of game for a mere $10. There is even one special part of the game where you may see a familiar boss or two if you’ve played through past MegaMan games. You must get this if you’ve ever enjoyed MegaMan. Just watch out for BladeMan. He’s a real asshole.

A dream of dreams that dreaming children have – What I learned from Sailor Moon

March 01, 2010 By: UncleChuckTH Category: Media, Editorial 5 Comments →

Part Two of a Four-Part Series

Anime girls in short skirts go around prattling about love and justice. Lesbians are really just cousins. Winged horses are perfectly fine candidates for soul mates. This is the world of Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon. In America the show is known by its English dub, one that toned the show down considerably to aim it at children, or in other words completely butchered the original work and destroyed any credibility it may have had in the states. I was one of those target children, so why has it taken me this long to come to like the series? It’s been history in Japan for thirteen years, and ten or nine in America. The answer is that much like my good friend RabbitSnore, I was too ashamed to admit that I was somehow intrigued by it. Mamoru and Usagi graze at each otherHowever many years later when two of my favorite online associates Thereisnospoon303 and Dillrod90 made watching Sailor Moon a public event, I wanted to take part, partially because I value their opinions, but more honestly because I had definitely reached a point where I thought attractive anime girls might not be such a bad thing. I was ready for Sailor Moon. I had no idea what I was signing up for, and it ended up being a complete surprise. Now, having seen all two hundred episodes of all five seasons and two of the three movies, I can say I have gotten myself quite deep into the franchise. I know what the Japanese names of all the girls mean, I can recite the lyrics of countless opening and ending themes by heart, and can draw the characters without missing a detail. There are a lot of reasons for a person like me to like Sailor Moon, but should something like this be obvious from the offset? I am in no way the target audience, being male, American at that, and supposedly too old to fall for sappy love stories, so this shouldn’t be for me, am I right? What is it about this series that could make it so likable? What gives it this undeniable charm?Tuxedo Kamen waits for tennis

For me this series turned out to be a great find. It’s a perfect example of how anime was produced in the 1990’s – featuring beautiful backgrounds, lots of scenes involving school and ordinary everyday life and not to mention funky Jpop music mixed in with a beautiful orchestral score. It was tons of fun to see the enigmatic Tuxedo Kamen throw roses at giant tennis ball monsters and for Sailor Moon to defeat enemies with attacks such as “Starlight Honeymoon Therapy Kiss.” This kind of silliness is not for everyone however, and there’s plenty of skepticism to be had for a series that sells its characters on the fact that they show a lot of leg, but it was not too difficult for me to look past that to get a clearer vision of what it’s really about.
Wrong Rei

My friends Thereisnospoon303, RabbitSnore and Dillrod90 probably view the series from the point of view of the reserved and mature college boyfriend, Chiba Mamoru. As a high school student I didn’t quite see it from that perspective, instead I see the plot from the point of view of the five girls. I can identify with them in a certain way; if it’s goofing off one day then being serious about studies the next, believe it or not these girls cover a lot of the same ground that I do. The character I feel I connect to most is Rei, serious, jiving, and highly supportive of the naïve and childish Usagi. Underneath the Shrine Maiden that greets people at the Hikawa Shrine, there is a young woman that harbors deep feelings of determination to fulfill her aspirations, having an “international life of success.” Rei’s character is written in such a way that tells me that it’s fine to dream big, and the more open and determined one is the greater their likelihood to achieve their goals.
The Right Rei

Points such as these are scattered all throughout the series, there to encourage young viewers as they grew up with the characters. I’m required to think about adolescent issues daily, and I deeply appreciate being able to bring my own life to the characters of this campy show. They all live in a bright world where adolescence is happy and innocent, and evil is repelled with the power of love and friendship. It isn’t accurate, but it is inspirational. I’ll take this over watching Michael Cera get wasted in SuperBad any day. It can be disappointing to see many types of questionable behavior advertised in entertainment to the teenage audience, so it is refreshing to see something so far on the other end of the spectrum for once. The world is by no means as peaceful or optimistic as Usagi-chan would make it out to be, but hell I believe in a world where one can go for their dreams, and maybe even have a miracle romance. It may be sappy; it may be unrealistic, but it’s sweet, and it’s something I can appreciate. It has proven to me that shoujo anime is not something that should simply be written off as substandard kiddy fare, and that it can in fact communicate important messages. There is much to say for how the writers decide to bring in these themes, and they rarely have anything to do with the skirts.

So what is the purpose of tackling a project as large as watching 200 episodes? It is to be entertained, to learn something new, and perhaps to achieve an unexpected result, such as learning something about yourself. If one looks hard enough they can discover a lot in this series, and whether it’s to like it for its lighthearted and silly scenes or its more reflective and dark ones is entirely the preference of the viewer. I’m sure to most the fanbase seems onerous or averting as is often the case with anime fans, but it is important to remember that different people enjoy things for different reasons. I like Sailor Moon because it showed me an optimistic and enticing fantasy world that hits close to home, and perhaps it even gave me a better idea of how my miracle romance may turn out some day, all in the format of a campy action and romance ‘90s cartoon. Others may like it for simply the skirts alone, or for the bizarre humor. Whatever reason one may have, there’s plenty to find and appreciate in this quirky yet strangely alluring tale.

That’s what Sailor Moon says.

BIG BEAT MARIO

January 04, 2010 By: Furnessly Category: Poop Reviews, Media 14 Comments →

 Article written by Guysafari and minorly edited by RabbitSnore. No witty remark today.

“Big Beat Mario” is a YTPMV made by the rather well-known youtube pooper, Triple_sSs (Aka Skyguy16). It uses Hotel Mario and a little of the actual Hotel Mario Gameplay. As for audio, it uses the audio from the two said sources. It’s a YTPMV made completely of the Hotel Mario CD-i Cutscenes and gameplay. I know I complain about overused sources, songs, etc., but this is an exception. It’s actually one of the best YTPMV’s I have ever had the pleasure of both listening to and watching. The visuals were great (despite the lack of effects, the way that Triple_sSs uses the crop effect makes up for it.) There are actually parts where seven different clips are on the screen all at once *screenshot below*, the beat is extremely catchy, everything syncs up, it’s very rhythmic, and as I listen to it while I make this review, I notice that it has a very nice bass line.

This is extremely rare, but I cannot find any downsides to this YTPMV. Its just an overall wonderful experience to watch and listen to. I recommend it to, well, everybody. Its that good. I suppose if I were to try my hardest to pick a possible downside, I would have to say the length. Its over six minutes long. It also seems to fade into different melodies and beats. I think that Triple_sSs should split it up into three parts, put the three parts for download, and put the links in the video description and list it as a divided version. The length is barely even a peeve though. The divided version would merely be a bonus. As I said before, this is perfect. It’s especially shocking because, quite honestly, when I first clicked the link to the video, I said to myself “What is this? another *overused song* Hotel Mario YTPMV?” Needless to say, I was surprised. My jaw actually dropped I was so impressed with this.

I know this review seems rather short, but the YTPMV is flat-out excellent. I can’t even recommend any ways to make it better! All I have to say is, Thank you Triple_sSs for the absolutely, positively, wonderful, stupendous, excellent, awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping, original, remarkable, astonishing masterpiece that you refer to as “Big Beat Mario”.

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What I Learned from Sailor Moon

December 29, 2009 By: RabbitSnore Category: Media, Editorial 7 Comments →

Around the middle of September this year, I began watching the Sailor Moon anime. I began watching the show because a thread about it had grown on the Forum, and my oldest friend, Thereisnospoon303, was an active participant of the thread — much to my surprise, given that I had been utterly unaware of his propensity for the show. My first exposure to the show was as a child in elementary school, catching bits and pieces of the English dub on television before school, and at the time, I felt it was my social duty as a budding male to detest this girly drivel — so I did, with as much pretended passion as I could muster, all the while suppressing my tacit curiosity about the show: there seemed to be more to the show than for what I was giving it credit, but it would have been humiliating to express that, and I wasn’t nearly articulate enough to adequately defend myself if I came under criticism for it from family or peers. After all, this shit was made for preteen girls, right?

At the time I am writing this, I have watched 120 episodes, which amounts to 48 continuous hours of time spent watching a Japanese cartoon about magical schoolgirls in the ‘90s. If in August you were to tell me that in three months I would have spent that much time watching a cartoon which as a child engendered embarrassment for me to even stand in the same room as a television playing it, I would have said you were crazy and should have a CAT scan performed to investigate the possibility that a brain tumor was perhaps pressing on the part of your brain which keeps you from being fucking stupid. But that would have been the socially awkward child in me speaking, the child who my therapist keeps telling me is sad, alone, and afraid to form interpersonal connections.

My therapist also tells me that dream I keep having means that I want to dig my teeth into the nipples of every woman I meet because of unresolved issues with my mother.

Whatever.

Yet here I am, able to tell you that Ami Mizuno is a Virgo and that Minako Aino’s least favorite food is shitake mushrooms. Apart from attributing my unexpected appreciation of Sailor Moon to severe mental illness and repressed childhood trauma, it is difficult to account for this course of events.

But perhaps it’s not so strange that I ended up liking Sailor Moon enough to watch over 120 episodes of it, put 15 hours of soundtrack music on my computer hard drive and MP3 player, and spend enough time to learn the rudiments of a musical instrument on watching it. Perhaps the series isn’t bereft of merit. Perhaps with an open mind, it is possible to discern the value of a ‘90s anime about schoolgirls and a college boy in a top hat who throws roses at formulaic monsters. Perhaps there really is some redeeming quality to this crap. Or maybe I could benefit from a hefty dosage of Thorazine after all – but I’m going to go with the thesis that there is a point to all this stuff, that there is a reason I love it, and as long as I allow myself to love it, it’s more fun than I would have ever guessed. There’s something about this show that keeps it from being buried irredeemably under its flaws and places it in one of the few warm places in the hollow chambers of my cold heart.

There’s a charm about Sailor Moon I quietly detected as a child, even from the shitty English dub I was originally exposed to, and after watching the subtitled Japanese version, I can better understand what it is that gave it the staying power of over 200 TV episodes, several full-length movies, and several musical theatrical performances and gave it the appeal to prompt me to watch so damn much of it. The series’ charm is the charm of having enough subtlety and enough unexpected twists to stay interesting, even while sticking to a fairly predictable formula. There’s no surprise when the heroes save the day, and it’s uncommon for an episode to end unhappily. Nevertheless, I find myself watching the show to complete the formula, to see what exactly happens, even if I know how it will ultimately end. It’s like solving a mathematical equation that I know is balanced or watching a movie I’ve already seen: I feel the need to finish it even if I know, in some way, what will happen; I just need the details.

Let me be clear about this: I didn’t expect to enjoy the show. Despite my suspicion there was more to it than what I thought of it as a child, I approached the show with my usually high level of cynicism and skepticism. But I kept an open mind, and I was rewarded with an enjoyable experience. Being the brooding and introspective fellow that I am, I gave a great deal of thought to this unexpected turn of events, and I realized some key lessons that I learned about how to enjoy yourself when encountering new media, like a new show or film.

The following are what I have come to believe is the key to having a good time with new stuff. It’s how I fell in love with Sailor Moon, and maybe it can work for you!

# 1: Do not mistake your preferences for an objective measure of quality. Remember that what you like is not necessarily reflective of the media’s objective quality. In fact, I would argue that media does not have objective, quantifiable goodness or badness; there are merely opinions and responses. If some media appeals to one person or group and not to you, it can be difficult to understand what the hell they see in it…. I have this trouble with fans of the Twilight series all the time…. But if you accept the fact that people can feel differently about different things, you come to realize that nothing is good or bad in any real sense. This is not to say, however, that you should not allow yourself to get riled up about media. If you didn’t, things would get quite boring, now wouldn’t they?

# 2: Remember that nothing is perfect, even if you love it. This is closely related to #1. It is great to love your favorite shows, books, movies, and music and go on rants about how heavenly they are, but never - never - let that love blind you from the flaws of the media. By flaws, I mean elements of the media which prevent it from fulfilling its intention: animation flubs, poor sound quality, crappy editing, lousy voice acting, and dialogue that sounds like it was written by a first grader with a blood clot in the frontal lobe of his brain. But it’s okay to love something that isn’t perfect in every way. In fact, things, again, would be rather boring if what you loved were perfect… and this brings us to #3….

# 3: Love the good; laugh at the bad. While I think it’s great to be passionate about the things that work in your favorite media and also great to get riled about the flaws in media you don’t like, it’s important to be able to relax and remember that you’re probably not talking about something which will threaten the lives of millions or cause the AIDS epidemic in Africa to worsen… probably.

At the end of the day, you should be able lay in bed and to feel good about the way that Mark Hamill played The Joker in Batman: The Animated Series, and you should be able to say to yourself, “My god, I hate the voice of Artemis in the English dub, but dammit, I will be able to sleep tonight without having nightmares of a white cat saying, “Computer findings point to yes.” That is, when exposed to train wrecks such as US Catman in Lethal Track, you ought to be able to laugh at how horrendous they are – and this goes for moments of gracelessness in your favorite media as well. When characters are off-model in your favorite animation or when otherwise good actors deliver their lines as if they have suddenly lost several points of IQ, admit that it’s bad and laugh at it. Letting yourself admit that things are not perhaps the way they should be is much healthier – and much funnier – than denying it and trying to make excuses for it. And this is why you should…

# 4: Be willing to laugh at yourself. Leave behind your strict, canonical standards and live a little. Allowing yourself to like things that aren’t perfect is much more fun than being stuck up about it.

A good deal of the animation in Sailor Moon falls short of expectations, even by ‘90s standards, and it’s no secret that much of the dialogue can be stilted and formulaic. In spite of these flaws, I retain my appreciation for the show. I laugh at how many times the characters ask each other if they’re all right and how the same animation is recycled episode after episode whenever the characters transform. It has gotten to the point where I enjoy seeing the same old animation; it’s like being wrapped in a security blanket – only the security blanket is an underage schoolgirl wearing a sailor fuku.

My point is that you should strike a balance between accepting the flaws of your favorite things and loving them madly; these things are not incompatible. Don’t take things too seriously, and you will do just fine. Love what you love, and don’t get too hung up on trying to defend it from all criticism. It is my suspicion that, at worst, not practicing the suggestions I’ve outlined here can lead to elitism and xenophobia, sometimes to the extent of the old “War on AIDS” debacle. At best, however, you can have a damn good time not taking things too seriously, lying back and enjoying the way Tuxedo Kamen always shows up just in the nick of time.

Watch Sailor Moon on Youtube here.
Read a fan translation of the manga here.
Torrent the complete series here.
Discuss Sailor Moon on the forum here.

Article by RabbitSnore.

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