The Review Crew: “The First Wario Land Wii Poop”
Full Metal Kiwi and company review a Wario Land Poop. Together. As a family.
Hello good folks! Welcome to the first round table review of The Review Crew: A group of specially selected forum members who review carefully selected poops. Take these opinions as just that: opinions. We do not claim to know the true meaning of “poop,” nor do we claim to know the best.
The group was created by Christoph, an editor for the News Page. The Review Crew is led by Full Metal Kiwi (FMK) and is consisted of RealGenericFilms (RGF), TheDarkRises (TDR), ShadowWario (Swari), Synister Sir (Syn), and thewafflemaster (TWM). Now, on with the review!
“The First Wario Land Wii Poop” by eiremoonblossom, aka Kamek TV.
It uses footage of the new Wario game for Wii, as well as footage from Super Smash Bros. Brawl. There’s also various sound sources as well.
FMK: I’d like to start this review off by asking what people thought of the techniques used for pooping.
Syn: First of all, I have to mention that this poop was waaaaay too long for my taste. Even though a lot of it was pooped, I still felt that it was kind of empty. I was left wanting more from it.
Swari: I agree with Synister, it was pretty long and was kinda boring. I really don’t like poops over a minute and a half unless they’re REALLY epic. Also, some of the edits were kinda expected and it didn’t feel edited enough.
TDR: As the others said, it felt pretty lengthy and pretty slow. It seems like something you can make in an hour with little or no effort.
Swari: Also the title, description, and tags were all generic and don’t add to the humor at all.
Syn: It wasn’t a generic WMM poop and actually used something other than that. But it used one of the most overused things in WMM, slow down + pixelate, which is something I hate.
FMK: I felt there was a strange uniqueness to it. The edits and techniques used were few and far between, as if the creator wanted to preserve the content as much as possible. Heck, if you brought the volume down, you’d probably forget you were watching a poop. However, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find Wario “WAH”ing at Luigi’s trophy hilarious on its own.
RGF: Much too slow for me. FMK’s thought is valid, though this is more a remix than a poop. The first edit does not even start for 20 sec
onds! This poop also is a bit low on rape, even for WMM.
FMK: Yeah, I’d call it more of a “Wario Land+Brawl remix” than a poop… Although, if it were shorter, we’d probably see the same problems with it. I noticed many people have problems with pacing, and this one is no exception. It feels long, like the scene with Wario waiting to go through the telescope (or whatever), I felt like it didn’t deliver in the end. Am I making sense?
Swari: PERFECT SENSE.
RGF: In addition to being a remix more than a poop, it’s few edits do not fit together well. E.g., when Wario repeats some actions it is lazily spliced instead of looking seamless… well, you know what I mean. I think we can all agree that this is a remix and still not a good one.
TWM: What really disappointed me about this poop is how the original material was kinda spoiled [with] references like “Arrowed!” and the Cd-i/SMW quotes. Though his sources had no understandable English dialogue, I do give him a bit of leeway. [Also,] when someone claims their poop is the first in the title, I view it as being self-centered most of the time. It was actually pretty mediocre in my mind.
TDR: In my opinion, it was pretty lazily done. A lot of the bits were just long fillers like the laughing seal and the unedited scenes. Like wafflemaster said, it was pretty mediocre.
FMK: I don’t think it’s really all that bad…. it’s just very slow. If the cuts came quicker and less of the original content was preserved, it probably would be exceptional… perhaps.
Swari: It would be exceptional but rather bland. And that blandness is increased by its slowness.
Syn: I felt it had a slow delivery and didn’t deliver that much in the end. It was really boring and bland.
Swari: It may be the first Wario Wii poop, but it is slow and somewhat predictable.
RGF: Also, its edits are shoddily spliced and this is not worth a view.
TDR: It is too lengthy and goes at a very slow pace, making it unbearable to watch.
FMK: This poop could have been at least worth watching if more effort was put in, too much content is unedited that it’s really hard to keep interested.
Well there you have it, folks. This is the first of our reviews, and there will be more coming! Thank you for reading.
With the fourth gameweek of the Tennis Cup coming rapidly to a close, we are hot on the heels of the fifth and final week, in which only one game will be played: the Finals.
Hello, fellow poopers. What you are about to read is a review of what many consider the best movie of 2008. Thousands of people, comic book fans or just your average movie goer and their mother, have gone to see this movie. Movie sites have gone ballistic over this movie, giving it mainly high praise (At the time I’m writing this, it’s number 1 on the IMDB top 250). Hell, people are contemplating giving Heath Ledger a posthumous award for his role as the Joker. But now, now… Why so serious?
This movie kicked motherflrucking ass! I agree. It’s the best film of 2008. Better than Wall-E, Hulk, Iron Man, hell, even Indy 4! However, before I drool over the films awesomeness, I need to explain why this film kicked the ass it did. Otherwise, this wouldn’t make for much of a review. Now then, gentlemen… Where do we begin..?
Plot (5/5): After Joker robs a bank, the following night, Batman impersonators with guns try to take out the Scarecrow. The real Batman arrives and captures the Scarecrow. He ridicules the impersonators and tells them to leave the work to him. After the incident, he gets a new armor upgrade due to injuries. Afterwards, Bruce Wayne goes to a party. There, he meets Harvey Dent, a district attorney who is also in love with Rachel Dawes. Meanwhile, at a meeting of the mob bosses, Joker arrives and proposes an idea. “Kill the bat man…” he says. Believe it or not, there’s a lot more to this, but I don’t want to spoil it for all of you.
Direction (5/5): The actors are all good in this movie. They’re all somewhat famous too. There’s Christian Bale returning as Batman, Morgan Freeman, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, etc. As I said before, people want to give Heath Ledger a posthumous award for his role as the Joker. I would have to agree. Heath made the Joker character seem menacing and deadly. My mom said she was scared every time that he was on the screen because he was unpredictable. He could pull a rabbit out of his hat at any time and scare people. Of course, most of his actions lead to dark comedy, so Joker’s also a comic relief character in this film. Also, there are plenty of well choreographed action scenes. This film went on the right direction for all of the movie. Just one question. Why does Batman always sound like he needs a throat lozenge?
What can I say about Ratt? They were one of the leading pioneers of hair metal in the 80’s. The band put out an EP and 6 studio albums. Ratt was formed in 1976 under the name of Mickey Ratt. The original lineup featured Stephen Pearcy, Jake E. Lee (future Ozzy Osbourne guitarist), Chris Hager, Paul DeNisco, Matt Thorr, and John Turner. In 1981, when Jake, Chris, and Matt left to form Rough Cutt, Juan Croucier, Warren DeMartini, and Robbin Crosby. In 1982, Bobby Blotzer replaced John Turner on drums, completing the classic Ratt lineup. After the success of their EP in 1983, the band recorded a studio album. This album’s sound (and possibly title) was influenced a lot by Aerosmith. How are these songs? Let’s see:
2. You’re In Trouble (3:16)
8. The Morning After (3:30)
I love this album. While it may not be the perfect Ratt album, it certainly is better compared to their self-titled album in 1999. Warren DeMartini is a very good guitarist as well as Robbin Crosby. Their solos were all very good on the album. Juan Croucier has very thuddy basslines, making him a pretty heavy part of the band. Bobby Blotzer, while there’s nothing special about him, is okay for a drummer, but he certainly has better drumlines on later albums. Stephen Pearcy’s whiny voice is annoying at first, but once you get used to him, he’s a nice singer. I’d recommend Ratt for all you fans of 80’s hair metal (the numbers might be slim, but still).
It’s things like this game that make me wish I were born back in the early 80’s. To see the mass unveiling of one of today’s most largest companies, and the system that really put video games on the spot for home entertainment. And the games that followed it. Zelda for the original NES. A game that tried something different and ended up releasing master pieces out the ass for years to come. Like The Wand of Gamelon, right? It was the first game to feature a map that was completely connected (Save for things like caves, homes, dungeons, etc…) and introduced a lot of things like changable ‘practical’ inventories, and different items. As well as being one of the first games to have save files. The story, however, was fairly basic. Link sets out to collect the Triforce, defeat the evil king, and save Hyrule and it’s Princess. No other real characters, no other towns, cities, etc… And while having a giant map, it’s map was fairly bland. Lots of generic areas that looked just like each other, meaning getting lost wasn’t hard to do without making a map (Seriously, it’s like freaking purgatory half the time.) That aside, however, this game sets the pace for basically every other Zelda game’s gameplay. But for the times, this game caused a rave you can’t even compare games like Brawl or GTA 4.
Then, the ever-for sure and awaited sequel came out. The game every nintendo fan from the time had a wet-dream about. Zelda 2: Adventure of Link for, not the NES- but The infamous Famicon Game System (Though later set into the NES). This game also broke far away from what it’s brother game had made. The game starts out normal enough, you walk around an over head map, a more colorful, vibrant, populated, varied world from the one seen in the original Zelda. Only to soon be attacked by enemies that appear out of no where to chase you around the map. Coming into contact with one brings you to a battle in a different screen, reflecting RPGness. What’s more is Link now gains levels, skills, gets EXP, etc… Zelda 2 was and is unlike any other Zelda game to date. Apparently, most of the people who worked on the original Zelda were not present, and were replaced with new people for the scene of Zelda 2. They took many different turns, such as the combat system, and adding Side-scrolling aspects to the game as opposed to being over-head all the time in Zelda 1. It also focuses much more on story and characters, introducing the first ’sages’ in the series. Link can also, to a point, swim. The game is also the first (due to it’s side-scrolling) the first in the series to inroduce jumping and crouching in Link’s movement. Adding more varied combat and monsters (Damned Iron knuckles) It also sets the fact apart that all the Zelda games are, infact, not connected side-by-side to each other, but are places years apart via Link apparently being re-born, and every princess in the Hyrule family being named “Zelda”.
In a comparision of the two, Zelda 1 is the much better of the two. It just feels more like a Zelda game (it does because it IS more like a Zelda game) than Adventure of Link, keeping more elements of a Zelda game rather than it’s Final Fantasy-styled sequel where level and skill gain is added. Though that’s not to say Zelda 2 is bad, or that it isn’t good. Mind-fuckingly hard as it is, it’s a fairly fun game. Though it makes poor use of the leveling system. Most of the time Temples have almost no monsters, monsters that you need to kill for the ever-important EXP and levels that you’ll need to face the boss. This lead to a few (especially the first Boss) being annoying as fuck to kill, while other bosses you’d have to be 3 week dead corpse to not be able to button-mash rape. However, I much prefer the more colorful, ‘realistic’ and populated realm of Zelda 2, as opposed to the creamish colored ground, desolate, unpopulatedness and odd mountains and forests of Zelda 1. Both games have great music, from the ever-present main theme to original tracks. That, and I have a taste for low-bit Midis. So bite me.
